Tomorrow, June 16th, will be
one two years since my Mom died. It still feels surreal and there are times when I think, “I need to ask Mom about…” and pause to remember I can’t. Well, I can ask, but I won’t get an answer. I do believe that life goes on after death and I do believe that she can still check in on her family and friends. I had a dream shortly after she passed that she was young and full of energy and bopping around the hereafter like she no doubt did in her younger days.
Born August 19, 1948, Mom was 19 when she married my Dad and just 20 years old when she had me. We often celebrated our birthdays together since mine is just a few days after on the 24th. Last night, the thought crossed my mind that there aren’t 20 years between us since my birthday last year. Mom was 71 when she died, so from last year on, the years between us will decrease.
Celebrating our milestone birthdays, “50” and “30”
We didn’t always see eye to eye, but we did have a lot in common. Some of the things Mom loved were:
- My Dad
- Her children and grandchildren
- Her sister and brother
- Her flowers
- The cabin that she and my Dad owned in the beautiful Black Hills
- Silly, cute yard decorations
- Smiley Faces
Mom also loved holidays and she loved giving gifts. Every time she and my dad went on a trip, they would come back with some kind of gift for all the kids and grandkids. She was very observant and would notice if one of us liked something. Pretty soon, we would be innundated with that object, whether unicorns or owls, or in the case of my brother-in-law, Broncos “stuff”. With Mom, sometimes “too much” was “just enough” 😉
Mom loved to travel and see new places and things. I definitely got that gene! She was also a planner and on our family trips, she would have a plethora of places that had to be seen. Sometimes it was a bit much and I recall stopping at many “historical” sights where perhaps a wagon train had once traveled through but currently it was an empty field. I’m sure I did my fair share of complaining, but every now and then I actually found something to appreciate, although it may have been a squirrel or chipmunk and not the detailed plaque describing said historic event 😉
Mom’s health declined significantly in her later years. Despite pleading from her family, Mom was stubborn and never one to be told what she should do. She smoked even after her first heart attack at the young age of 49. She finally did quit, but was never a fan of exercise, so eventually was dependent upon my Dad and a scooter to get most places. She did experience a lot in the years she had. She always dreamed of seeing Hawaii and she and my Dad did make it there for their 25th Anniversary and they saw many more places as well.
I get my love of all things cute from Mom. She never saw a smiley face she didn’t love. One year we all received round Smiley Face cutting boards. I use mine almost every day and I often think of Mom when I do 🙂 She enjoyed decorating the great outdoors with gnomes as well as statues, fountains, solar lights, windchimes. I follow her lead, so I’m sure when she checks in on me, she is happy to see that her old yard still contains little gnomes, animal statuary, metal flowers and solar lights.
The last week has been very emotional for me, thinking of all the things Mom won’t be here to celebrate with us. I believe that she can still celebrate milestones with us and cheer us on, but it would be so nice to be able to have one more day to talk with her. She did get to see her great granddaughter on FaceTime shortly before she died and I KNOW she was with all of us celebrating the first birthday of this little sweetie last month ❤
I miss you Mom and look forward to the day you can show me around your heavenly home. I’ll bet it will have a lot of smiley faces! 🙂
❤ Love, Beth
Oh, Beth, This is so wonderfully written! Your mother was a dear friend, classmate & neighbor to me and I loved her dearly. It doesn’t seem possible that a year is already going by, but I also know for you and the rest of the family members, it seems forever. I’ll be spending tomorrow remembering our good times together and saying a prayer for all of you. Bernadette Fjeldheim
Thank you so very much❤. I need to add to the list of things Mom loved. She treasured her friends and I know you were very special to her❤
Happy Birthday to your Mom in heaven ❤
Thank you so much❤. I know she is happy and healthy again, but I still wish I had one more day.
🥲 one sad face, because I miss her, too.
You were so special to her Nora 🥰 And you knew her longer than I did, so even more memories ❤.
Lots of good memories Beth. I am sure you miss her deeply. My Mom has been gone now for 47 years. She died way too young. Stay well and hold onto the memories. Allan
Thank you Allan. I think no matter how long they are gone, there is always a little hole in our hearts. I’m sorry about your Mom too. All the best to you and thank you for the very thoughtful message.
This is a beautiful tribute to your mom. Thanks for sharing it.
Thank you so much❤. It was bittersweet looking through all the photos and reliving the memories. It was great therapy, though! Thank you so much for reading and for the lovely comment.
Beth, this is a beautiful post and tribute to your mom. We all now feel like we know her a little bit which is so special. I am sending healing hugs to you as I know how hard this must feel. Just keep looking for those signs….
Thank you so much Janie ❤ Mom would love that more people know her. She was a much more extroverted person and found it very easy to talk to people. I weeded her rosebushes yesterday and had one of my new neighbors introduce herself and her doggy. Maybe that was Mom helping to get me out of my introverted comfort zone 😉 I'm still looking for more signs, though! Thanks as always for your kind comments ❤
Beth, the visit was a a sign as you were weeding her rosebushes when the neighbor introduced herself. Your mom was the bridge to friendship with the neighbor! 🙂 It was a nudge from your Mom…xo
I’m taking it as that too, Janie! 🙂 What was really cute was that as she had turned to walk back home, my next door neighbor (a single gentleman) opened his garage door and we saw his truck start to pull out. She walked out of the driveway, called my name and then pointed to the truck and said “What about?” while motioning toward him. 😉 I looked at the sky, smiled at her and shrugged my shoulders 😉 While I don’t think it would be wise to get involved with the next door neighbor, even though he seems like a very nice person, maybe my new neighbor/friend will eventually think of someone else she can introduce me to. I’m getting closer to wanting to get back out there again 😉
Hmmm…one never knows Beth! Stay open to whatever is meant to be. I like that she thought of the single neighbor and pointed him out. 🙂 Sounds like good things are on their way to you. Talk to your Mom when you are working on her rosebushes. Ask for her guidance/help. 🙂 She’s listening.
Such great memories!
Thank you so much for reading, Cindy😊 we definitely made some great memories! All the best to you!
this is so beautiful. I miss my mom. thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much, Cindy 😊. I’m sorry for your loss too. No matter how long it has been, the loss of those we love leaves an empty space.❤. Thank you for the lovely comment.
So sorry for your loss. She sounds like a wonderful person, which can be gathered from all that you write of so well!
Thank you Mary. It was therapeutic gathering the photos and telling her story. ❤