One year ago today, I could not have foreseen the events that would unfold.ย Exactly a year ago today, I tested positive for Covid, was dealing with mind games and threats from my narcissist ex and was feeling defeated, dejected and so alone. A month later, with the help of a wonderful therapist, I was able to begin to see what a toxic relationship I had been in and that being alone was so much better than that. I found the core of who I am and the confidence to make it on my own if I needed to.
The months that followed found me doing a lot of work in the new/old house and in the yard. Weekly therapy sessions were incredibly helpful. When I commit to something, I give it my all and therapy was no different. I journaled my little heart out and was upfront and honest. I came to realize that though I have my faults, like everyone, I did not deserve to be treated the way I had been.
I regained the self-confidence that had been worn down in the course of that relationship. I was comfortable in my own skin again and was given the green light from my therapist to spread my wings and to get back to living again. โค
The thought of being in another relationship was scary, and I set my goal far into the future. I decided that I would start dating again when my divorce had been final for a year….March 30, 2022. Well, you know what they say about best laid plans. ๐๐๐
Along the way, I found joy in my friends and family, in my yard. and in my drawing and newly obtained skill of watercolor painting. Finding happiness in my own pursuits is what I believe allowed me to be open to the relationship that I found and am building with my new sweetheart.
Gone is the anxiety that plagued me in my previous relationship. I no longer have to feel like I am walking on eggshells and to feel like I will never be good enough. With my new beau, I am relaxed and comfortable. The thought of seeing him makes me happy, not anxious, and I never feel like he will judge me and find me lacking. He is incredibly thoughtful and kind.
I think the purpose of this post is to give hope to anyone out there feeling hopeless and alone. There is light at the end of the tunnel. A year ago, I felt mired in sadness and hopelessness. Today I feel hopeful and happy. I am excited to see what the future brings. I did the work to be happy with myself and along the way I found a special someone ๐
What a difference a year makes! โค I am wishing all of you joy and happiness in the year ahead of us. ๐๐๐.
Love, Beth โค
picturingpositive 