If He Would Have Been Faithful…..

This song popped into my head while I was mowing my front lawn for the last time this season. If you haven’t tried it, I assure you that the steady drone of the lawnmower is wonderful for processing deep thoughts. A year ago at this time, I would not have believed that before a year had passed I would be divorced. It was a whirlwind of “suckiness” that I went through last year and the beginning of this one.

When my ex-husband first told me he had been unhappy for 5 years or more, I was stunned. Of course considering we had been married just over 6 years, the news was quite a shock. Since being unfaithful was something I would never consider, my guard wasn’t up and I was completely unprepared for what I found out in time. I guess the saying that everything eventually comes to light is right. This song by Chicago really hit home with me. Switch the “She” to “He” and I can 100% relate. My ex more than emphatically denied that there was someone else. In fact at the time we met for lunch about a month after our divorce, he insisted that he was not in a relationship nor was he intending to be.

Seeing the photos of him with the new squeeze and reading the posts she shared about their time together after she “accidentally” sent me a Facebook friend request hurt me deeply. At that time in August, I didn’t believe that I would ever be glad that my ex was not faithful to me. I felt sadness and anger towards his new love, but from where I am now, the sadness and anger has dissipated. I feel no anger towards her. In fact, I feel sad that she might eventually be subjected to the same thing I had been.

As in this song by Chicago, it is a wonderful paradox that if my ex had been faithful, I would have been cheated out of the relationship with my new sweetie. Being accepted for who I am is refreshing. I certainly have many faults and quirks, but while he might tease me about them, he never talks down to me or makes me feel like I need to change if I want the relationship to work. I can’t adequately express how much easier things are. It is like a weight has been lifted and I am free to live in the moment and enjoy life. Certainly I want to and will continue to try to improve myself, but I don’t have the feeling that it is a deal breaker if I slip up now and then.

My love language is acts of service and my new sweetheart is fluent in that language. He has been there for me so many times already. Just two days ago he picked up the girls for me when I had a conflict because of the conversation class I help to teach. When he dropped them off he disconnected the back hose that I was having problems with and also covered up the fire pit that I had forgotten to cover. Sunday evening he single handedly cut the ceiling tiles for Marta’s bedroom and got them back in place in record time. It was fun to watch him at work. He is a home improvement pro…..measure twice and cut once, and boy is he steady with the utility knife! Had I tried to do that, I have no doubt there would have been some choice words uttered and it wouldn’t have looked anywhere near as nice!

So, in the words of the song, my ex and his new honey were, “doing me a favor, A blessing in disguise.” I am so happy with my sweetheart. It is ironic that I had to lose to win. I am truly grateful for him and I know how lucky I am to be with such a kind, thoughtful and faithful man โค

The new fire pit that my sweetie and I snuggle in front of and that he kindly covered up for me

“If She Would Have Been Faithful…”

I was thinking about her
Visiting the past
Reconstructing details with old photographs
Studying the faces
With an objective point of view
Suddenly remembering doesn’t haunt me
At the time you couldn’t tell me
That one day I’d be glad
That something that I thought was love was misinterpreted
She had another lover, she emphatically denied
But they were doing me a favor
A blessing in disguise

If she would have been faithful
If she could have been true
Then I would’ve been cheated
I would never know real love
I would’ve missed out on you

I watch you sleeping, your body touching me
There’s no doubt about it
This is where I want to be
You know it’s so ironic, I had to lose to win
I want to thank her (Thank her again)

If she would have been faithful
If she could have been true
Then I would’ve been cheated
I would never know real love
I would’ve missed out on you

It’s a paradox, full of contradiction
How I got from there to here
It defies a
Logical explanation

If she would have been faithful
If she could have been true
Then I would’ve been cheated
I would never know real love
I would’ve missed out on you (Missed out on you)
If she would have been faithful
If she could have been true
Then I would’ve been cheated
I would never know real love
I would’ve missed out on you (Missed out on you)

If she would have been faithful (If she would have been faithful)
If she would have been faithful (If she would have been faithful)
If she would have been faithful (If she would have been faithful)
If she would have been faithful

Posted in happiness, Let it go, love, moving on, relationships | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

My Hero

My sweetie is truly my knight in shining armorโค

This past week has been challenging to say the least! My hot water heater died Wednesday night, and I found out while I was in the shower. Not fun. I was hoping that someone was washing dishes or doing laundry, but it was confirmed Thursday that I definitely needed to replace the hot water heater.

I was lucky enough to find a contractor who could get a new tank installed on Friday! Thank you Loyal Plumbing!! They arrived as promised and installed a new hot water heater, got everything up to code and also installed a pressure valve and a salt-less water softener and filter. I was delighted and couldn’t wait to enjoy a hot shower!

Alas, it was not meant to be. Marta came upstairs shortly after we got home that evening and urgently asked that we come and look at her room. When we got down there, water was pouring from her ceiling. ๐Ÿ˜ณ.ย  I took the ceiling tile out only to have it crumble in my hands as a torrent of water sloshed down on me.

After turning the water off and investigating, my sweetheart discovered that the water was seeping from an old copper line, probably to an icemaker on a long gone refrigerator. The line had been pinched off at the end, but had somehow corrodedย  and started leaking.ย  He found that it had a shut off valve that had no switch, so the water was just running into the defunct line and from that line into Marta’s bedroom.

Because all the hardware stores were closed, a repair would have to wait for the next morning. The plan was for my sweetie and me to hit the hardware store in the morning to find a cap for the pipe. The next morning I was prepared to head there first thing to find that part. Instead, my sweetheart showed up holding a bag with the needed part and proceeded to cap the line, allowing all of us the opportunity for hot showers and even more importantly the ability to flush the toilets without filling up the tank with stored water. ๐Ÿ˜‰

To him, I know it is a small thing, but to me it is huge! Being there for me in my time of need means so much more than any gift he could give me. I thank my lucky stars and my guardian angels and whatever divine intervention brought us togetherย  โค.ย 

Thank you, my heroโค๐Ÿ˜˜โค

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Falling For You๐Ÿ

As you can tell, Fall is on my mind lately. I think the changing colors on the trees has inspired me. ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ Last night I was also thinking about my sweetheart and how thankful I am for him. The combination of the two led to my latest little creation. Hope he makes you smile too!

My newest Gnomie drawing๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ๐Ÿ˜Š

Every leaf speaks bliss to me, fluttering from the Autumn tree.

Emily Bronte
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Happy Fall, Y’all! – Keep it Positive! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ๐Ÿ˜

I was blessed with certain gifts and talents and God gave them to me to be the best person I can be and to have a positive impact on other people.

Bryan Clay

While I may not be the most talented artist, I have a lot of fun with my drawings and watercolors. I try to find subjects that make me smile and gnomes are always good for that! I made these little cuties for my coworkers and gave another one to my sweetie. I like to think that my little creations have a positive impact on those I give them to and remind them that they are important to me. โค

What I strive for is that everywhere I go, I leave a positive impact.

Clarence Seedorf
Posted in Embrace Life, friendship, Imagination, relationships, watercolor practice | Tagged , , , , , | 12 Comments

Fall Vibes ๐Ÿ

Holding on is believing that there’s only a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a future.

Daphne Rose Kingma

My newest watercolor creation. Like the leaves in the Fall, we can learn to let go; let go of the mistakes of the past, and to let go of hurt and fear in order to look forward to new beginnings. ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿ

Life moves forward. The old leaves wither, die and fall away, and the new growth extends forward into the light.

Bryant McGill
Posted in accomplishment, adventure, Carpe Diem, completing tasks, Let it go, moving on, watercolor practice | Tagged , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Nice and Easy

The song that I am loving right now!

Let’s take it nice and easy
It’s gonna be so easy
For us to fall in love

Hey baby what’s your hurry
Relax and don’t you worry
We’re gonna fall in love

We’re on the road to romance – that’s safe to say
But let’s make all the stops along the way

The problem now of course is
To simply hold your horses
To rush would be a crime
‘Cause nice and easy does it every time

We’re on the road to romance – that’s safe to say
But let’s make all the stops along the way

The problem now of course is
To simply hold your horses
To rush would be a crime
‘Cause nice and easy does it
‘Cause nice and easy does it
‘Cause nice and easy does it every time
Nice and easy does it
Nice and easy does it
Nice and easy does it every time

Lately I find myself wondering if it is too early to be falling so quickly and deeply for my new sweetheart. How, I ask myself, can I already picture far into the future with him? I don’t have a picture of exactly what the future will look like, but I know I want him in it. โค

Strange duck that I am, I find myself asking Google for the answer ๐Ÿ˜‰ I found several articles, but I liked the one linked here:

https://www.expertrain.com/blog/happiness/signs-its-love-not-lust.htm

This article is titled “20 Signs It’s Love Not Lust” – I know the beginning of a relationship is always more intense, but I believe what my sweetie and I have is more than just physical attraction and chemistry. Since I am one that makes lists and checks boxes, here is a list of the signs. Click on the link above to read the entire article – definitely worth reading!

#1 – You show affection, even when sex isn’t on the cards. – Check

#2 – You want them to meet your family and friends. – Check

#3 – You’re happy making plans for the future. – Check

#4 – You have deep conversations. – Check

#5 – Your friends are sick of hearing about them. – ?? – Haven’t heard complaints yet.

#6 – You’re willing to go the extra mile (altering plans to see each other). – Check

#7 – You’re happy doing mundane tasks together. – Check

#8 – You can’t stop thinking about them. – Check

#9 – You care about what they want. – Check

#10 – You find their quirks charming. – ?? I find everything about him charming, so Check

#11 – You don’t notice other people as much. – Check

#12 – You’re happy doing nothing together. – Check

#13 – You’re quick to compromise. – Haven’t had to compromise, but I’m very willing to. ๐Ÿ˜‰

#14 – You re-asses your priorities (putting things off so we can spend time together). – Check

#15 – They scare the shit out of you (because they have the power to hurt you) – Scary, but I trust him ๐Ÿ™‚

#16 – You have great chemistry. – Check, Check, Check!!!!

#17 – You can’t wait to spend more time with them. – Check

#18 – You value their opinion – Check

#19 – They make you want to be a better person. – Check

#20 – You just can’t get enough. – Check

The article says, “If you can say yes to most or all of these signs, then you’re in love! If not, don’t give up just yet – sometimes love can take a while to grow between two people.”

According to this article and the others that I have read, I’m definitely on the “road to romance”. Even though those three little words haven’t been said yet, I am confident that they will be eventually โค . In the meantime, I am very much enjoying the journey and the stops along the way! “Nice and easy does it every time!”

I made this little zentangle for my sweetie โค

Posted in Dating, Embrace Life, happiness, living life to the fullest, love, relationships | Tagged , , , , , | 15 Comments

Happiness

Happiness is the only good. The time to be happy is now. The place to be happy is here. The way to be happy is to make others so.

Robert Green Ingersoll

It was a memorable week in our little household. Last Sunday, the girls and I took a class at Canvas 2 Paint downtown. Our teacher, Kelly, did an amazing job instructing us and I think all of ours turned out fabulously!!

Happiness isn’t something you experience; it’s something you remember. Oscar Levant

Oscar Levant

Mara and Marta had never done mini-golf before, so I decided that they couldn’t miss out on that experience. Friday night we headed to Putz-n-Glo which has black lights and is themed from the 60s through the 90s with murals on the walls commemorating all that was “cool” in those decades. My new sweetheart joined in the fun and wound up being the champion with a score several strokes under par!

Happiness held is the seed; Happiness shared is the flower.

John Harrigan

To top off the wonderful week, Mara and Marta found out on Saturday (after their Thursday tryouts) that they made the cheerleading squad! Congratulations girls!! ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰

Posted in accomplishment, adventure, Carpe Diem, Embrace Life, happiness, Learning, living life to the fullest | Tagged , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Just say………..YES!

As I start writing, I am experiencing deja vu because I’m sure I have covered this topic before. ๐Ÿ˜‰  My default answer to unfamiliar things tends to be no, but I have been making a sincere effort to say yes more often and to be open to new experiences and opportunities.

My comfort zone is pretty small.  For almost the last year I have essentially been in a small circle filled with immediate family members, coworkers and a few friends.  I ventured out to take classes and to participate in activities with those in my circle. I didn’t let anyone new in that little circle.  Doing so meant taking a chance and leaving myself vulnerable. I wasn’t willing to take that risk.

Dipping my toe into the online dating pool only convinced me more that there were plenty of nice gentlemen out there, but none that ignited any kind of spark in me. I wanted someone that made my heart go pitter pat and if I couldn’t find that, I didn’t plan to settle.

One month ago today I was looking forward to my two girls arrival and had one weekend left before they arrived. I don’t know what it was that made me reactivate my profile on match.com, but whether a push from beyond (thanks Mom) or divine intervention (thank you God), I am so glad I did.

A month ago I took a chance and said yes to a first date That first date led to a second date that evening followed by a third date the following day. Three days later it was date number four and then the fifth date two days after that. Date six, a Sunday breakfast date was followed that evening by our seventh date which would turn out to be quite memorable ๐Ÿ˜‰.

We met and walked around the park, went to an ice cream shop and played a few old arcade games in a local arcade. We held hands while walking around and I felt the pitter pat of my heartโค. When we walked back to our respective vehicles and said goodnight, we shared our first kiss. It was incredibly sweet and it made me want more. โค

When he sent me flowers on our birthday and then came over to meet my family and to celebrate with me, I knew he was someone very special and someone that I want in my life.

The lovely bouquet I received from my sweetheart on our birthdayโค

Since then I have said yes to meeting his wonderful kiddos and his brother and sister in law (very nice, fun people) and in return have introduced him to all my kiddos and most of my family. I said yes to Motocross racing, which made my heart race in a very non-romantic way, but I still enjoyed being there with him. He also invited Mara and Marta along and they had an absolute blast! He invited me to come shooting this weekend. That would have been a hard NO in the past, but I find that I am willing to expand my comfort zone and try new things with him.

At the Motocross races in Deadwood.

He brought two of his three kiddos over to celebrate Marta’s 17th birthday last night. His kids are delightful and it is apparent how much they love their dad. I look forward to spending more time with them too.

Marta celebrating her 17th birthday in America ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธโค๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ

The lesson that I have learned from all of this is that while initially it may be hard to take that first step outside my comfort zone and to say yes to new opportunities, the reward is so worth the risk.

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Faith needs Works

One volunteer opportunity that I love is lectoring at church. I am on the schedule next Sunday and I always like to practice the reading a few times before Mass so that I am familiar with it. It is from James 2:14-18.ย  Here is that passage:

What good is it, my brothers and sisters,

If someone says he has faith but does not have works?

Can that faith save him?

If a brother or sister has nothing to wear

and has no food for the day,

and one of you says to them,

“Go in peace, keep warm and eat well,”

but you do not give them the necessities of the body,

what good is it?

So also faith of itself,

if it does not have works, is dead.

Indeed someone might say,

“You have faith and I have works.”

Demonstrate your faith to me without works,

and I will demonstrate my faith to you from my works.

James 2:14-18

This passage brought to mind something that happened two weeks ago when we met my sister and her family on a chilly day at the lake. My two exchange students were not prepared for the cool, breezy conditions and were both shivering. My new suitor gallantly offered both his jacket and his sweatshirt so that both girls would be warm, even though that left him with just his t-shirt and shorts. He is a great dad to two girls and a boy, so it seems it is second nature for him to take care of others. This was such a difference and a welcome change from my ex. It truly touched my heart that he was willing to hang out with my kids and extended family after knowing me such a short time and that he was as considerate of my girls as he is of his own kids.

He does believe in God, but does not attend church services.ย  I think this is much better than one who attends or even leads church services but does not act as Jesus asks us to. To me simply being a “church going” person does not make one a “good” person. To stand up in church and tell people how to live their lives and how Jesus wants us to be while spending the other six days of the week being selfish, greedy and breaking the commandments God gave us is hypocritical at best, evil at worst. I would rather be with people who “walk the walk” and act in a godlike, giving way than with those who “talk the talk” and have all the right words to say but whose actions do not coincide with those words. The serpent in the Garden of Eden did as much.

My new suitor with my Dad and my girls after enjoying the classic car parade in Deadwood

Even with the limited time I have known my new suitor, I have seen so many good qualities and such generosity that I predict more good times to come. Our first date was less than a month ago and even in that short time he has shown such consideration and kindness. Last Saturday he drove me, my lovely girls and his own beautiful daughters all the way to Devil’s Tower, WY and Monday he took us, including my son, through Bear Country in his truck. On the way back from Bear Country, he even suggested a stop at the huge candy store that is nearby, knowing that all the kiddos (this big one included) would love it.

Caring about others, running the risk of feeling, and leaving an impact on people, brings happiness.

Harold Kushner

Photos from Devil’s Tower and Bear Country – amazing adventures!

A while back while re-reading my journals, I came across something I had written years ago. I noted that my first husband, the father of my kiddos, is one who thinks of others and then himself while my (at the time) current husband thinks of himself first and then others. I believe that my new suitor is cut from the same cloth as my kids’ dad and is one to do for others first. That speaks volumes of his character and I consider myself very fortunate to have found him. Who knows what the future will bring, but I hope it brings many more adventures for us.

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The Lost Has Been Found!!! ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŽ‰

The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost.

Gilbert K. Chesterton
After living for 10 DAYS without her suitcase, Mara is all smiles to finally have it in hand!

Friday was a red letter day in our happy household! Mara’s bag had been lost since she arrived on the 17th, but finally on the 27th, a full 10 days later, she has her bag which will take her through the school year ๐Ÿ˜Š She was definitely enjoying the moment she first saw her bag! Life is sweet! โค

The best way to pay for a lovely moment is to enjoy it.

Richard Bach
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A Memorable Day!

A new watercolor in honor of my Birthday Twin and me! ! ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‚๐ŸŽ‰

Today is a day to remember for many reasons. It is my birthday, the big 53 this year.ย  It is also the birthday of my new suitor from Match.com. While enjoying a yummy lunch with him on our first date at Olive Garden, we talked about birthdays and discovered we share one. How sweet is that?!? He is a wee bit younger than me,, but not so much that it raises eyebrows. ๐Ÿ˜„ It is also the birthday of my sweet niece.ย  So many reasons to celebrate! ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰

I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning.

J. B. Priestly
Marta and Mara, two beautiful Cobblers! โค

It is also the first day of school for Marta and Mara, my beautiful, brave exchange students. They are so nervous, but I am here for them and am praying for a wonderful first day for them bothโค  I know they have what it takes to make this an amazing senior year in America!!๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธโค๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ

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The gang’s all here! Now the fun begins!! ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰

Our little family is complete. Photo credit to Nathan who joined us in welcoming Marta! ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ“ท๐Ÿ˜Š

Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.

Anais Nin

We were so excited to be able to welcome Marta tonight! She had a SUPER long day, so is resting up tonight before our adventures begin tomorrow! We are going to see our famous faces at Mount Rushmore! Then, I believe it will be an early night for everyone. I think Mara is getting closer to adjusting to the time difference, but if her luggage would ever arrive, she would be much happier! Last we heard it MIGHT have made it to Brussels. ๐Ÿ™„ Her parents and I are trying from both sides of the ocean to figure out just what we need to do. We are hopeful that she will have it soon!

Luckily Marta’s luggage made the trip with her, so one less challenge to face. Registering for classes happens Monday and she starts school on Tuesday! Mara is a step ahead and is registered already and has visited many of her classrooms. We are hopeful that we will be able to walk Marta around Monday after she get her schedule set. Right now I know that it is all new and scary for them, but I’ll bet in a month’s time, they will wonder why they were ever nervous!

Mara and Martaโค Hopefully the beginning of a long lasting friendship โค๐Ÿ˜Šโค

I am excited to have the opportunity to share our beautiful city and state with the girls and to see them blossom as they adjust to their new home and develop confidence and self assurance! It’s going to be a GREAT year!

Of all possessions a friend is the most precious.

Herodotus
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