Yesterday I visited our local greenhouse and among other things, I purchased flowers for the window boxes on my shed. Shortly after I finished planting them, a storm blew in and they were pummeled with hail. They survived, but were a little worse for the wear. I was reminded of the saying by Mother Teresa called “Do It Anyway.” I am glad I planted the flowers even though the hail damaged them a bit. They will bounce back and be beautiful in my yard for the rest of the summer.
Some nights I can relate all too well to the anonymous quote above.😉 My alarm goes off at 5:45am, so I will count the hours to see how much time I can sleep before that if, as the quote says, I get to sleep right now.😉 This weekend was one of those instances. I have so many tasks that have to be done. I woke up this weekend from a dream in which I was scrubbing the floors. I did finally accomplish that task over the weekend, so my brain can check that off my list of things to do. 😉
I often joke that I want to find the “off” switch for my brain so I can just sleep restfully instead of waking up throughout the night thinking of what I need to do that day/week/month. I know I’m not the only one who struggles with this. One of my favorite comics, “Pearls Before Swine” featured the following strip which I was compelled to cut out and put up in my office.
Until I find that “off” switch, I will have to make the most of the restful nights I do get. On the postive site, waking up often does allow me to remember an important thing I need to do or an item that I need to bring to the office, so for that I am grateful to my sleepless brain 😃
It’s been a doozy of a week. Last Thursday I went to work and started feeling a bit clammy and woozy. I rarely get sick, but felt bad enough to take the afternoon off. I went home and literally crashed in bed. I started getting chills and couldn’t seem to get warm enough no many how many blankets I piled on top of myself. When the chills subsided, my body seemed to be on fire and I didn’t want anything covering me. When I finally took my temperature, it was 103.6 😞
I spent the weekend feeling awful, sleeping a lot and drinking SO much water. My appetite was effectively gone. Ted was a sweetheart and checked on me, but wasn’t able to do anything to make the pain go away. Finally after taking acetaminophin every four hours to keep the fever at bay all day Saturday and Sunday, I decided that I would go to Urgent Care as soon as they opened Monday Morning.
Monday morning came and I was optimistic that I would finally have answers to what was going on with me. I went in and waited a bit before the RN took me back to an exam room. He was very attentive and repeated my symptoms back to me. The RN left and the PA came in. He was pleasant and friendly. I told him my symptoms and said that it felt very similar to years back when I had a UTI. A skeptical look crossed his face, and he asked if I had a “burning sensation” when I peed. I said no, and before I had a chance to say that I didn’t the previous time I had a UTI, he shook his head back and forth and said it definitely wasn’t that. Looking back, I should have requested that he order a UA, but I was a bit in shock. He went on to say that he thought it might be COVID. He kept pressing me about having respiratory symptoms. I said that I hadn’t had any, but he ordered a nasal swab and tested for COVID, RSV, Influenza A and B. Before I left, he said that when I received the test results, if they were negative, it would probably just be 3 or 4 days, and I’d be feeling better. All tests came back negative.
Tuesday morning I woke up with a fever once again. I took more acetaminophin. I KNEW something was wrong, so after working for half the day, I called my primary care physician, hoping I could get in to see her. Fortune smiled on me and I was able to get in the following afternoon. After speaking to the nurse and giving her my symptoms, the doctor came in. She was genuinely concerned about my fever lasting as long as it did. She ordered a stomach x-ray, a UA and a white blood cell count. When I left the office, I felt as if my concerns had been heard and I felt better already just knowing that I would soon be able to get to the bottom of this.
Thursday late morning I received a call from the nurse at my provider’s office. She said that my white blood cell count was “dangerously” high and told me the doctor recommended coming in for a shot of antibiotics to be followed up with oral antibioties for seven days. I came in for the shot and she told me then that if I felt any worse, I should immediately go to the ER. My WBC was at 24.9 and the refrence range was 4.5-10.5. I was immensely frustrated that I had wasted so many days that I could have been recovering. I do plan to write a letter to the Urgent Care facility expressing my dissatisfaction with the treatment I received and to request that the staff, especially the PA, learn to l
The lesson I learned from this ordeal is that I know myself better than any medical professional and next time I feel my concerns are not being taken seriously, I will speak up right then and not allow my concerns and questions to be dismissed. Thanks to my amazing PCP, I am feeling 100% better at the beginning of this week. 🙂
I have a picture in my head of a beautiful backyard garden with flowers constantly in bloom. It may take more time than I might like, but I believe it is possible and know that with patience and effort, I can make that picture a reality! The trees will be budding soon and my daffodils are giving my yard some much appreciated color until then! ❤
Tomorrow I will be attending the funeral of a good friend of my sweetheart’s, the best friend of his brother and a truly wonderful person. The news of his death, I believe, was a shock to everyone who knew him. I didn’t know him very long or very well, but in the few times I had been around him, he radiated a calm, gentle presence and his smile was one that lit up a room. I remember at his 50th birthday party when he and his fiancee had just moved into their new home how he showed us the backyard and where his garden was going to go. He was excited about having a garden and was looking forward to tending his plants and flowers.
In a moment of despair, he chose to end his own life, leaving behind an empty garden and heartbroken friends and family members. “If only” is something on the minds and lips of those left behind. If only he had talked to someone, if only he had thought about the friends and family that he would leave behind, if only he had chosen to find another outlet for his pain, if only he had realized that everything is temporary, if only he realized at that moment how much he was loved and cared for.
The National Institute of Mental Health website has helpful resources for those who themselves are struggling or have a friend or family member struggling. On the website, I found this: “Suicide is a major public health concern. In 2020, suicide was the 12th leading cause of death overall in the United States, claiming the lives of over 45,900 people. Suicide is complicated and tragic, but it is often preventable. Knowing the warning signs for suicide and how to get help can help save lives.”
I found a helpful article from Self Magazine that gives ideas of helpful, healing things to say to a friend who has lost a loved one to suicide, as well as things not to say. One line stood out for me. “Being a fully present listener is often more important than figuring out exactly what to say.” I think just knowing that someone is there is greatly appreciated.
If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please know that there is help available. Everyone struggles with sorrow and stress, and there is absolutely no shame in admitting that we need help and support. I wish there was a way to let everyone know that they matter. It brings to mind the song “Disappear” from the musical Evan Hansen. I’ve added a link if you’d like to listen. I love the following lyrics:
In today’s world, I think it’s easy to feel down and depressed, but often we can help pull someone out of a slump or a gloomy day with just a smile. As Emily Dickinson states, a person she encounters might not need a smile, but then again they might. I think it is much better that we smile or say a kind word to someone who might be having a good day already. After all, the worst that will happen is maybe that person will feel even better. For someone who is down, though, that little effort could be life changing. I ask that your mission for today (should you choose to accept it😉) is to be the reason someone smiles today!
Remember, YOU matter!! Thank you for reading! By doing so, you have made me smile, so your mission is accomplished! ~ Beth 😊❤😊
Yesterday’s storm kept me busy enough that I didn’t do my usual “Tangle Tuesday”, so I opted to share some Wednesday Wisdom this week 😉
Our little April blizzard dumped a lot of snow in a short time. Nearly everything was closed Tuesday, including my office.
I spent quite a while snowblowing and shoveling a path for Romeo in the backyard, but I did manage to get a few things done around the house too. If only we could have “snow days” without the need for shoveling, I could be much more productive. 😉
I hope your spring is a bit more spring-like than mine so far 😉 There is a light at the end of the snow tunnel, though. Next week has several 70 degree days!! Woo-Hoo!!! 🌞🌞🌞
Today marks two years since my divorce was finalized. At that time I was pretty down and it was difficult for me to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was definitely relieved that it was done and finalized. Gone was the anxiety that maybe my ex would decide at the last minute that he wanted more than he had already taken. I started therapy and was finding ways to keep myself occupied.
I worked in the yard, took a local class in watercolor painting, caught up on some series on streaming channels, put some puzzles together, took my dog for walks, went to see movies, read some books and spent time with my kiddos and my friends. Getting into another relationship was not even on the radar for me at that point. I mean, were there any good ones out there, anyway? 😉 I decided that I wouldn’t even entertain the thought of dating until a year had passed.
A few months later, I thought maybe I’d start dipping my toe in the water again and started a Match.com subscription. I met a couple men on there that were very nice, but I just wasn’t ready to commit to a relationship yet. A couple months later, on August 14th, I matched with Ted and had a very pleasant lunch date at Olive Garden where we found out we shared a birthday. We saw quite a bit of each other after that and by Halloween, we had said those three magic words to each other. ❤
The sticker above has been on my dresser for more than two years, but seeing it this morning made me smile. 🙂 (One of my wonderful finds from Natural Life!) I did keep going even when I felt like giving up. I did the work to process all my feelings and came out the other side a stronger person.
Of course life is not all sunshine and rainbows. I still have challenging days and my share of problems. I know, though, that no matter what comes I can handle it. I just need to keep going!
I am really happy with my little duckling. It reminded me of Hans Christian Andersen’s tale of “The Ugly Duckling”. I have always loved fairy tales and folk tales and remember back in elementary school checking out compilations of stories from around the world. I loved that while life may not have been fair for some of the characters, their circumstances would often change for the better, or at least by the end, they would reap the consequences of their actions, good or bad. One of my favorites was Toads and Diamonds. Click here if you’d like to read: https://fairytalez.com/toads-and-diamonds/ The daughter who treats a stranger with kindness is rewarded and the one who treats a stranger with rudeness is punished.
A quick search led me to an amazing page on Wikipedia that has a HUGE list of fairy tales, folk tales, and fables. Many of them have links to the actual stories. I could spend a great deal of time here….and may do that when I have a bit more time on my hands. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fairy_tales
I created these two drawings last night. The first one has the zentangle doodles on it, but I left the second simple because I thought it was good on its own. I love the quote on the bunny zentangle. I think it is true that there are so many amazing people that we haven’t had the pleasure yet to meet, so I like the thought that strangers are just future friends.
Here are some more friendship quotes that I enjoy: