Let’s take it nice and easy It’s gonna be so easy For us to fall in love
Hey baby what’s your hurry Relax and don’t you worry We’re gonna fall in love
We’re on the road to romance – that’s safe to say But let’s make all the stops along the way
The problem now of course is To simply hold your horses To rush would be a crime ‘Cause nice and easy does it every time
We’re on the road to romance – that’s safe to say But let’s make all the stops along the way
The problem now of course is To simply hold your horses To rush would be a crime ‘Cause nice and easy does it ‘Cause nice and easy does it ‘Cause nice and easy does it every time Nice and easy does it Nice and easy does it Nice and easy does it every time
Lately I find myself wondering if it is too early to be falling so quickly and deeply for my new sweetheart. How, I ask myself, can I already picture far into the future with him? I don’t have a picture of exactly what the future will look like, but I know I want him in it. ❤
Strange duck that I am, I find myself asking Google for the answer 😉 I found several articles, but I liked the one linked here:
This article is titled “20 Signs It’s Love Not Lust” – I know the beginning of a relationship is always more intense, but I believe what my sweetie and I have is more than just physical attraction and chemistry. Since I am one that makes lists and checks boxes, here is a list of the signs. Click on the link above to read the entire article – definitely worth reading!
#1 – You show affection, even when sex isn’t on the cards. – Check
#2 – You want them to meet your family and friends. – Check
#3 – You’re happy making plans for the future. – Check
#4 – You have deep conversations. – Check
#5 – Your friends are sick of hearing about them. – ?? – Haven’t heard complaints yet.
#6 – You’re willing to go the extra mile (altering plans to see each other). – Check
#13 – You’re quick to compromise. – Haven’t had to compromise, but I’m very willing to. 😉
#14 – You re-asses your priorities (putting things off so we can spend time together). – Check
#15 – They scare the shit out of you (because they have the power to hurt you) – Scary, but I trust him 🙂
#16 – You have great chemistry. – Check, Check, Check!!!!
#17 – You can’t wait to spend more time with them. – Check
#18 – You value their opinion – Check
#19 – They make you want to be a better person. – Check
#20 – You just can’t get enough. – Check
The article says, “If you can say yes to most or all of these signs, then you’re in love! If not, don’t give up just yet – sometimes love can take a while to grow between two people.”
According to this article and the others that I have read, I’m definitely on the “road to romance”. Even though those three little words haven’t been said yet, I am confident that they will be eventually ❤ . In the meantime, I am very much enjoying the journey and the stops along the way! “Nice and easy does it every time!”
It was a memorable week in our little household. Last Sunday, the girls and I took a class at Canvas 2 Paint downtown. Our teacher, Kelly, did an amazing job instructing us and I think all of ours turned out fabulously!!
Mara and Marta had never done mini-golf before, so I decided that they couldn’t miss out on that experience. Friday night we headed to Putz-n-Glo which has black lights and is themed from the 60s through the 90s with murals on the walls commemorating all that was “cool” in those decades. My new sweetheart joined in the fun and wound up being the champion with a score several strokes under par!
To top off the wonderful week, Mara and Marta found out on Saturday (after their Thursday tryouts) that they made the cheerleading squad! Congratulations girls!! 🎉🎉🎉
As I start writing, I am experiencing deja vu because I’m sure I have covered this topic before. 😉 My default answer to unfamiliar things tends to be no, but I have been making a sincere effort to say yes more often and to be open to new experiences and opportunities.
My comfort zone is pretty small. For almost the last year I have essentially been in a small circle filled with immediate family members, coworkers and a few friends. I ventured out to take classes and to participate in activities with those in my circle. I didn’t let anyone new in that little circle. Doing so meant taking a chance and leaving myself vulnerable. I wasn’t willing to take that risk.
Dipping my toe into the online dating pool only convinced me more that there were plenty of nice gentlemen out there, but none that ignited any kind of spark in me. I wanted someone that made my heart go pitter pat and if I couldn’t find that, I didn’t plan to settle.
One month ago today I was looking forward to my two girls arrival and had one weekend left before they arrived. I don’t know what it was that made me reactivate my profile on match.com, but whether a push from beyond (thanks Mom) or divine intervention (thank you God), I am so glad I did.
A month ago I took a chance and said yes to a first date That first date led to a second date that evening followed by a third date the following day. Three days later it was date number four and then the fifth date two days after that. Date six, a Sunday breakfast date was followed that evening by our seventh date which would turn out to be quite memorable 😉.
We met and walked around the park, went to an ice cream shop and played a few old arcade games in a local arcade. We held hands while walking around and I felt the pitter pat of my heart❤. When we walked back to our respective vehicles and said goodnight, we shared our first kiss. It was incredibly sweet and it made me want more. ❤
When he sent me flowers on our birthday and then came over to meet my family and to celebrate with me, I knew he was someone very special and someone that I want in my life.
Since then I have said yes to meeting his wonderful kiddos and his brother and sister in law (very nice, fun people) and in return have introduced him to all my kiddos and most of my family. I said yes to Motocross racing, which made my heart race in a very non-romantic way, but I still enjoyed being there with him. He also invited Mara and Marta along and they had an absolute blast! He invited me to come shooting this weekend. That would have been a hard NO in the past, but I find that I am willing to expand my comfort zone and try new things with him.
He brought two of his three kiddos over to celebrate Marta’s 17th birthday last night. His kids are delightful and it is apparent how much they love their dad. I look forward to spending more time with them too.
The lesson that I have learned from all of this is that while initially it may be hard to take that first step outside my comfort zone and to say yes to new opportunities, the reward is so worth the risk.
One volunteer opportunity that I love is lectoring at church. I am on the schedule next Sunday and I always like to practice the reading a few times before Mass so that I am familiar with it. It is from James 2:14-18. Here is that passage:
This passage brought to mind something that happened two weeks ago when we met my sister and her family on a chilly day at the lake. My two exchange students were not prepared for the cool, breezy conditions and were both shivering. My new suitor gallantly offered both his jacket and his sweatshirt so that both girls would be warm, even though that left him with just his t-shirt and shorts. He is a great dad to two girls and a boy, so it seems it is second nature for him to take care of others. This was such a difference and a welcome change from my ex. It truly touched my heart that he was willing to hang out with my kids and extended family after knowing me such a short time and that he was as considerate of my girls as he is of his own kids.
He does believe in God, but does not attend church services. I think this is much better than one who attends or even leads church services but does not act as Jesus asks us to. To me simply being a “church going” person does not make one a “good” person. To stand up in church and tell people how to live their lives and how Jesus wants us to be while spending the other six days of the week being selfish, greedy and breaking the commandments God gave us is hypocritical at best, evil at worst. I would rather be with people who “walk the walk” and act in a godlike, giving way than with those who “talk the talk” and have all the right words to say but whose actions do not coincide with those words. The serpent in the Garden of Eden did as much.
Even with the limited time I have known my new suitor, I have seen so many good qualities and such generosity that I predict more good times to come. Our first date was less than a month ago and even in that short time he has shown such consideration and kindness. Last Saturday he drove me, my lovely girls and his own beautiful daughters all the way to Devil’s Tower, WY and Monday he took us, including my son, through Bear Country in his truck. On the way back from Bear Country, he even suggested a stop at the huge candy store that is nearby, knowing that all the kiddos (this big one included) would love it.
Photos from Devil’s Tower and Bear Country – amazing adventures!
A while back while re-reading my journals, I came across something I had written years ago. I noted that my first husband, the father of my kiddos, is one who thinks of others and then himself while my (at the time) current husband thinks of himself first and then others. I believe that my new suitor is cut from the same cloth as my kids’ dad and is one to do for others first. That speaks volumes of his character and I consider myself very fortunate to have found him. Who knows what the future will bring, but I hope it brings many more adventures for us.
Friday was a red letter day in our happy household! Mara’s bag had been lost since she arrived on the 17th, but finally on the 27th, a full 10 days later, she has her bag which will take her through the school year 😊 She was definitely enjoying the moment she first saw her bag! Life is sweet! ❤
Today is a day to remember for many reasons. It is my birthday, the big 53 this year. It is also the birthday of my new suitor from Match.com. While enjoying a yummy lunch with him on our first date at Olive Garden, we talked about birthdays and discovered we share one. How sweet is that?!? He is a wee bit younger than me,, but not so much that it raises eyebrows. 😄 It is also the birthday of my sweet niece. So many reasons to celebrate! 🎉🎉🎉
It is also the first day of school for Marta and Mara, my beautiful, brave exchange students. They are so nervous, but I am here for them and am praying for a wonderful first day for them both❤ I know they have what it takes to make this an amazing senior year in America!!🇺🇸❤🇺🇸
We were so excited to be able to welcome Marta tonight! She had a SUPER long day, so is resting up tonight before our adventures begin tomorrow! We are going to see our famous faces at Mount Rushmore! Then, I believe it will be an early night for everyone. I think Mara is getting closer to adjusting to the time difference, but if her luggage would ever arrive, she would be much happier! Last we heard it MIGHT have made it to Brussels. 🙄 Her parents and I are trying from both sides of the ocean to figure out just what we need to do. We are hopeful that she will have it soon!
Luckily Marta’s luggage made the trip with her, so one less challenge to face. Registering for classes happens Monday and she starts school on Tuesday! Mara is a step ahead and is registered already and has visited many of her classrooms. We are hopeful that we will be able to walk Marta around Monday after she get her schedule set. Right now I know that it is all new and scary for them, but I’ll bet in a month’s time, they will wonder why they were ever nervous!
I am excited to have the opportunity to share our beautiful city and state with the girls and to see them blossom as they adjust to their new home and develop confidence and self assurance! It’s going to be a GREAT year!
Next week at this time both my host daughters will have arrived! What an exciting time!!
Kudos to these two brave girls with a grand sense of adventure, willing to leave their families for the entire school year . They are curious about a different culture and willing to step out of their comfort zones to experience that.
The wonderful thing about them taking that leap of faith and daring to take a chance and to have that adventure is that not only will they get to share our culture, but they will share theirs as well. I think it is a great benefit to their fellow classmates to learn about what is similar and what is different between their home countries and our own.
One of the best things about hosting is to watch the kids blossom and adapt to new situations. I expect that my host daughters will be quite overwhelmed initially, but I will help however I can and I am certain that in no time they will discover confidence with the language, their classes and newly formed friendships. They will carry this confidence with them in future endeavors and will make memories that they will always treasure.
We already have our own adventures planned for their year here. I have so much to look forward to with these two❤ The only thing I don’t look forward to is having to say goodbye at the end of the school year.
Yesterday, to my dismay I discovered that my lovely hot poker plants that had just started blooming were a bit too tempting for the deer that visit my yard to leave alone. I’m so glad I got a photo before they met their demise. While I lost the hot poker plants, I am thankful that the large lily opened up. As with life, there are endings but also new beginnings. I will enjoy and appreciate my lily while I have it. ❤
Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.
Back to the positive!! Can’t stay mired down too long. I have a fondness for pigs, so made this little guy. He is a cutie and since he has wings, I’m guessing he has a delightful imagination! Here are some great quotes I found about imagination! :
A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.
This post is filled with some raw emotions and not so positive pondering. If you would like the happier, more positive posts, I surely understand. Feel free to stop now and find a more optimistic one! 😁 Sometimes I just need to get these thoughts out so I can move on.
If you are still with me, here we go!
Many years ago I saw the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind with Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet. It is a strange show, but thinking of it started my imagination running wild. Given the chance, would I opt to forget my entire relationship with my most recent ex-husband as Kate Winslet’s character Clementine chooses to do with former boyfriend, Joel? Would I like to have every memory of him erased from my mind?
Honestly, I think I would. I would miss out on the memory of meeting some of his wonderful relatives, but I wouldn’t remember so wouldn’t be sad. Honestly, even though I grew to love them as family, I will most likely never see any of them again. 😕 We had no children together, so no drastic alterations to the space/time continuum would occur. I would have 12 years of my life back and could have happy memories of times spent with my kids, family and friends. Memories of amazing trips and holidays would be altered to eliminate him.
I understand Joel’s anguish in the quote above. I feel like all the years with my ex were a waste. I never truly knew him. He never got close to any of my kids, so no worry about any of them needing to have mind wipes done. They have forgotten him already and continue to encourage me to do the same. Thinking back, the only thing I gained from that relationship was meeting his family and friends. He once told me he thought I loved his mom more than I did him. That was probably true. He and I used to joke about a vacation when he yelled at me during a kayaking excursion. How funny is that? 🙄 Did I ignore a few red flags🚩🚩🚩? Definitely. In my defense, I took my vows seriously and meant for the relationship to be forever.
Reading through my old journals, I see SO many moments when I should have slowed things down or stopped them. Perhaps many of those were divine interventions designed to make me think twice, but I was so “in love”, reason and logic went out the window. He was from too far away and was controlling from the beginning of our relationship. Two different trips to meet him required me to stay inside a hotel room all day, even multiple days while he was in a conference. A trip to Disney, our first together, saw him riding one of the rides solo rather than waiting for me to get in line with him after I stood in line to get FastPasses for the two of us. I was an afterthought from the beginning.
He was handsome and he had a wonderful way with words. I was flattered by the attention, and if I had to get up at 5:00 am because that is what worked for his schedule, I was happy to do it. Honestly, the first time we met in person, I was underwhelmed, but with as much time as I had invested by then, I convinced myself that this was it. He was my person.
He has already moved on and I want to be able to do the same. Getting a friend request last week from his old “friend” with the pages full of photos of the two of them together and a specific post that referenced the “many times” she has visited the small town he now lives in was hurtful and cruel. I would love it if I could just brush that away without a thought rather than letting it hurt me. If I would have been offered a time machine that day with the opportunity to visit the past and to never interact with him, I would have jumped at the chance.
The mind wiping might be the best solution, though. If I had a time machine, I could go back and end it at the very beginning, but it might change the good things that happened in those years. By taking out only the memories of him, I would still retain memories of all the special times with my kids and family and friends. I would still have memories of the wonderful places I’ve been, just not with the added anguish of having experienced them with someone who no longer loves me and possibly never did.
If all the memories of him were gone, so too would be the anxiety of often feeling not good enough, of being too messy, not smart enough, too angry, too relaxed, too much of a planner, someone who shares too much. I definitely have my share of flaws and I realize this and can’t wipe them away even with a mind sweep. With all memories of him erased, I could, however, get over the feeling that I had to hide or quash any flaws in order to keep things “good” between us. Also gone would be the sometimes thoughtless, cruel comments and threats that replay in my mind when it is silent.
He threatened to take half of everything I owned, including my new/old house, my savings and my partial ownership in our family business if I didn’t sign over the entire house he is living in. He contributed nothing to any of this in the years we were together. Our finances were separate. I alone made the significant down payment on the house he is in. I knew then that if he ever had cared for me, he certainly didn’t anymore. I did as he asked, as I generally did. I’ve been told that with a good lawyer, I would have prevailed, but a long drawn out court battle was not worth it to me. He still has the house and all the equity including the down payment that took my entire savings up to the point we purchased it in 2018. To his credit, he did tell me after the divorce was final that he wouldn’t have followed through with that threat. Another “memorable” moment with him toward the end was when he said, ” I don’t understand why it is taking so long for you to get over your Mom [her death less than 6 months earlier]. It’s not like you were that close.” Unbelievable, right?!
I kept from telling anyone about some of the things I have been through because I didn’t want people to think less of him despite what has transpired. There comes a time, though when enough is enough. I was content to let things be until the new relationship was thrust at me along with the little caveat that this has been going on for quite some time since she has visited “many times.” That was enough to finally push me to block his e-mail in addition to previously blocking him from texting, calling and social media. I also removed him as a follower on my blog as well as his “friend” who subscribed via e-mail. As Ominek says below, when I’m done, I’m done. I certainly don’t need that in my life. This post is me saying I’m done! There will be no “friendship” or any contact of any kind from here on out. I am hopeful that he and his “friend” will leave me alone and will build their own life together and leave me out of it.
So, if I had the opportunity to erase him from my mind completely, I would definitely sign up. Until then, all I can do is to try my best not to let him take up space in my head. I hope to someday be able to move on as well. Somewhere out there, there may be a person who I want to reside in my head and in my heart for today, tomorrow and forever.
If you made it to the end, thank you for hanging in there! Sometimes just for my own peace of mind, I need to expel the inner “yuckiness”. I promise to get back up on the positive path!
Thank you to all of my wonderful visitors and followers (aka blogging friends) who make it so much easier to find the good in life and in other people ❤
My name is Himanshu Singh. Master in Arts ( Political Science ) from Jamia Milia Islamia. Alumni Dayal Singh College University Of Delhi.
B.A Honours in political science. Traveler by nature. 🇮🇳 I am here to express my thoughts and ideas.
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