I AM smiling ðŸ˜‰

I don’t think you should try to be anything you’re not. If you’re not smiling all the time or always happy – I don’t think it matters. If you’re having a bad day, show you’re having a bad day. Don’t try to put up something that’s fake.

Elle Fanning
Some days, this is the closest to a smile that I can get ;)

I’m not having a BAD day, but just feeling a bit blah. 😐 I think it is the weather. January is often pretty gloomy. Staying at the office for lunch doesn’t help, but I have to do a bit of running later this afternoon. I definitely am looking forward to warmer, longer days and a few less obligations! I think it’s okay to have days that aren’t the cheeriest. Today’s high temp is only 14 degrees. Brrrr! I will let myself be a “gloomy gus” today and will hopefully be back to feeling a bit more chipper tomorrow!

You just have to be authentic. You can’t fake a smile. You have to do what you actually enjoy.

Charli D’Amelio
Posted in Blah, feelings | Tagged , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

What a difference!

A new watercolor creation that captures my current mood. ❤

One year ago today, I could not have foreseen the events that would unfold.  Exactly a year ago today, I tested positive for Covid, was dealing with mind games and threats from my narcissist ex and was feeling defeated, dejected and so alone. A month later, with the help of a wonderful therapist, I was able to begin to see what a toxic relationship I had been in and that being alone was so much better than that. I found the core of who I am and the confidence to make it on my own if I needed to.

The months that followed found me doing a lot of work in the new/old house and in the yard. Weekly therapy sessions were incredibly helpful. When I commit to something, I give it my all and therapy was no different. I journaled my little heart out and was upfront and honest. I came to realize that though I have my faults, like everyone, I did not deserve to be treated the way I had been. 

I regained the self-confidence that had been worn down in the course of that relationship. I was comfortable in my own skin again and was given the green light from my therapist to spread my wings and to get back to living again. ❤

The thought of being in another relationship was scary, and I set my goal far into the future. I decided that I would start dating again when my divorce had been final for a year….March 30, 2022. Well, you know what they say about best laid plans. 😉💕😉

Along the way, I found joy in my friends and family, in my yard. and in my drawing and newly obtained skill of watercolor painting. Finding happiness in my own pursuits is what I believe allowed me to be open to the relationship that I found and am building with my new sweetheart.

Thinking of all the wonderful, kind people in my life inspired this zentangle. ❤😊❤

Gone is the anxiety that plagued me in my previous relationship. I no longer have to feel like I am walking on eggshells and to feel like I will never be good enough. With my new beau, I am relaxed and comfortable. The thought of seeing him makes me happy, not anxious, and I never feel like he will judge me and find me lacking. He is incredibly thoughtful and kind.

I enjoyed trying this new technique with my watercolors. I really like the results! 💙

I think the purpose of this post is to give hope to anyone out there feeling hopeless and alone. There is light at the end of the tunnel. A year ago, I felt mired in sadness and hopelessness. Today I feel hopeful and happy. I am excited to see what the future brings. I did the work to be happy with myself and along the way I found a special someone 💕

What a difference a year makes! ❤ I am wishing all of you joy and happiness in the year ahead of us. 💕😊💕.

Love, Beth ❤

Posted in Carpe Diem, creativity, Dating, feelings, happiness, independence, Let it go, Love Yourself, moving on, relationships, watercolor practice | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

Love, love, love…

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing, and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.

Ann Landers
I am very happy with the results of my practice session. I might even say I LOVE them!
Posted in accomplishment, love, Love Yourself, watercolor practice | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

Wishes Come True

My latest little drawing inspired by my sweetie and made possible by an awesome YouTube tutorial from Vishal Arte ❤

Love doesn’t make the world go ’round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

Franklin P. Jones
Posted in anticipating good, Carpe Diem, Dating, Embrace Life, feelings, love, relationships | Tagged , , , , , | 7 Comments

Amazing work, my skilled sweetheart!

Skill is the unified force of experience, intellect and passion in their operation.

John Ruskin

For the past two months, we have been struggling with the tub surround in the upstairs bathroom. We realized there was a problem when water started dripping into the basement bathroom, located directly below this one. I think it has been going on for quite some time, but since it hasn’t gotten the chance to dry between showers now that there are more of us using it, we realized what was happening. The tiles were loose in spots and had not been caulked in many years, I’m sure. That combined with the fact that the sheetrock behind the tiles was not the type that resists mold and mildew made for a moldy mess.

By the work, one knows the workman.

Jean de La Fontaine

Over the course of several days, the old tile came out, the correct sheetrock was installed and finally the tub surround panels were put in. It is such an amazing transformation and I am in awe of my honey’s handyman skills! As Jean de La Fontaine so aptly says in the quote above, one knows the workman by the work. Judging from the completed project, my sweetheart is amazing!!

The completed project – What a transformation!!!
Posted in accomplishment, completing tasks, relationships, thankfulness | Tagged , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

“Happy” Holidays

Happy, happy Christmas that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!

Charles Dickens

Remembering Christmases past in my new/old home! My son Nathan helped put the lights up using the nails my Dad pounded in place for a guide many, many years ago. I believe Mom is able to see it and is very happy to see the home that holds so many memories smile for the holidays once more. ❤🎄❤

Posted in anticipating good, Beautiful, Celebrate, completing tasks, Embrace Life, happiness | Tagged , , , , , | 8 Comments

Me time! 🧡😊🧡

Life has been crazy here lately to say the least. I was very grateful on Thursday for a day off from taxi duty, even though I did have to work. My girls are wonderful, but the additional driving, not so much. I knew it would be busy when I signed up, so I will just try to make the most of it. Having not been a “sports Mom” before, I wasn’t prepared for the insanity, er, dedication the coaches have for these sports.

I took advantage of my “free night” Thursday to dust off my watercolors and to do a little more practice. I found a YouTube tutorial and gathered some leaves from outside for additional inspiration. I was fairly happy with the results, but adding some quotes later really finished them off very nicely!

Continue reading
Posted in accomplishment, Baking, watercolor practice | Tagged , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Thank You!

This morning I logged into WordPress as I often to to check in and see what beautiful photos and insightful thoughts other bloggers have to share.  It is always a treat when people take the time to comment on my little meanderings, so when I saw the little red dot that means I have a notification, I was eager to see what it was.  To my delight, it was the following:

I would like to sincerely thank every one of you who reads and comments on my posts. I know many of my fellow bloggers have thousands of followers and that in the grand scheme of things 500 isn’t huge. My little site is a labor of love for me, though, and a place where I share a little part of myself. If I can brighten someone’s day or make even a small impact, I am delighted. Thank you all for giving me the opportunity to try ❤ I am grateful for each and every one of you! ❤

If you are reading this, I am thankful for you ❤
Posted in accomplishment, Celebrate, thankfulness | Tagged , , , , | 25 Comments

Solitude

Solitude is creativity’s best friend and solitude is refreshment for our souls.

Naomi Judd
Posted in Love Yourself, nurturing, spooky | Tagged , , , , | 5 Comments

Practice, Practice, Practice!

Practice puts brains in your muscles.

Sam Snead

I have been neglecting my watercolor practice lately, so it was nice to get a little time with it this weekend. While these pictures still aren’t close to those of the YouTube instructor, I am fairly pleased with how they turned out. I still need more work with blending colors and choosing those that fit well together, but I know in time it will come. I generally like my paintings better after I set them aside for a bit 😉

Practice is the best of all instructors.

Publilius Syrus
Posted in accomplishment, creativity, persevere, watercolor practice | Tagged , , , , | 26 Comments

A “BOO-tiful” Day!

But I love Halloween and I love that feeling: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner.

Evan Peters

We spent part of the day hollowing out our pumpkins and carving jack-o-lanterns. 🎃 The girls did a fabulous job and I managed to carve one with the help of a template. Now our house is a bit more festive! Happy Halloween!👻 🎃 👻

I love that in celebrating Halloween, we can get lost in the magic of make-believe and fantasy no matter what age we are!

Natalya Neidhart
Posted in Celebrate, completing tasks, happiness, Imagination, originality, spooky | Tagged , , , , , | 11 Comments

If He Would Have Been Faithful…..

This song popped into my head while I was mowing my front lawn for the last time this season. If you haven’t tried it, I assure you that the steady drone of the lawnmower is wonderful for processing deep thoughts. A year ago at this time, I would not have believed that before a year had passed I would be divorced. It was a whirlwind of “suckiness” that I went through last year and the beginning of this one.

When my ex-husband first told me he had been unhappy for 5 years or more, I was stunned. Of course considering we had been married just over 6 years, the news was quite a shock. Since being unfaithful was something I would never consider, my guard wasn’t up and I was completely unprepared for what I found out in time. I guess the saying that everything eventually comes to light is right. This song by Chicago really hit home with me. Switch the “She” to “He” and I can 100% relate. My ex more than emphatically denied that there was someone else. In fact at the time we met for lunch about a month after our divorce, he insisted that he was not in a relationship nor was he intending to be.

Seeing the photos of him with the new squeeze and reading the posts she shared about their time together after she “accidentally” sent me a Facebook friend request hurt me deeply. At that time in August, I didn’t believe that I would ever be glad that my ex was not faithful to me. I felt sadness and anger towards his new love, but from where I am now, the sadness and anger has dissipated. I feel no anger towards her. In fact, I feel sad that she might eventually be subjected to the same thing I had been.

As in this song by Chicago, it is a wonderful paradox that if my ex had been faithful, I would have been cheated out of the relationship with my new sweetie. Being accepted for who I am is refreshing. I certainly have many faults and quirks, but while he might tease me about them, he never talks down to me or makes me feel like I need to change if I want the relationship to work. I can’t adequately express how much easier things are. It is like a weight has been lifted and I am free to live in the moment and enjoy life. Certainly I want to and will continue to try to improve myself, but I don’t have the feeling that it is a deal breaker if I slip up now and then.

My love language is acts of service and my new sweetheart is fluent in that language. He has been there for me so many times already. Just two days ago he picked up the girls for me when I had a conflict because of the conversation class I help to teach. When he dropped them off he disconnected the back hose that I was having problems with and also covered up the fire pit that I had forgotten to cover. Sunday evening he single handedly cut the ceiling tiles for Marta’s bedroom and got them back in place in record time. It was fun to watch him at work. He is a home improvement pro…..measure twice and cut once, and boy is he steady with the utility knife! Had I tried to do that, I have no doubt there would have been some choice words uttered and it wouldn’t have looked anywhere near as nice!

So, in the words of the song, my ex and his new honey were, “doing me a favor, A blessing in disguise.” I am so happy with my sweetheart. It is ironic that I had to lose to win. I am truly grateful for him and I know how lucky I am to be with such a kind, thoughtful and faithful man ❤

The new fire pit that my sweetie and I snuggle in front of and that he kindly covered up for me

“If She Would Have Been Faithful…”

I was thinking about her
Visiting the past
Reconstructing details with old photographs
Studying the faces
With an objective point of view
Suddenly remembering doesn’t haunt me
At the time you couldn’t tell me
That one day I’d be glad
That something that I thought was love was misinterpreted
She had another lover, she emphatically denied
But they were doing me a favor
A blessing in disguise

If she would have been faithful
If she could have been true
Then I would’ve been cheated
I would never know real love
I would’ve missed out on you

I watch you sleeping, your body touching me
There’s no doubt about it
This is where I want to be
You know it’s so ironic, I had to lose to win
I want to thank her (Thank her again)

If she would have been faithful
If she could have been true
Then I would’ve been cheated
I would never know real love
I would’ve missed out on you

It’s a paradox, full of contradiction
How I got from there to here
It defies a
Logical explanation

If she would have been faithful
If she could have been true
Then I would’ve been cheated
I would never know real love
I would’ve missed out on you (Missed out on you)
If she would have been faithful
If she could have been true
Then I would’ve been cheated
I would never know real love
I would’ve missed out on you (Missed out on you)

If she would have been faithful (If she would have been faithful)
If she would have been faithful (If she would have been faithful)
If she would have been faithful (If she would have been faithful)
If she would have been faithful

Posted in happiness, Let it go, love, moving on, relationships | Tagged , , , , , , | 9 Comments