Exactly a year ago today (3/30/2021) my divorce was finalized. It was a day for me to breathe a sigh of relief. After dealing with the ex-husband’s silent treatments, threats and offers to try again if I was willing to meet certain conditions, I was beyond ready to be done. His moods could shift just like the flip of a switch and I never knew which side of my ex-husband I might be dealing with.
After going through all that, I knew that I needed to do some work on myself before I entertained the thought of being with anyone again. I was broken and I knew I needed to heal and to learn to be ok with myself and to set boundries for any future relationships. At that time, one year seemed like a perfectly reasonable amount of time to give myself before embarking on any dating adventures.
I was still holding on to some slim hope that maybe my now ex-husband would decide that he missed me and that he might be willing to give us another chance. Maybe counseling could help, I thought. After all, the last time we saw each other in April, he said he would probably always love me and we kissed. I remember telling him that if he could figure out what was going on in his head and give us another chance, I didn’t plan to start dating until March 30, 2022.
I finished therapy in June and had my therapist’s blessing to try my hand at a date here and there. I activated accounts on Zoosk and Match.com Although I did go out on one date and a few activities as friends, I think the hope for a possible reconciliation was still there. Once I discovered that there had been another woman in the picture, I found it MUCH easier to let that hope die. I felt so stupid and so gullible, but at least I finally had an explanation for the erratic behavior.
Fast forward to August of last year. I had exchange students arriving in the middle of the month and decided that one last date before the schedule got crazy might be fun. I was a bit apprehensive as I walked through the Olive Garden parking lot, and when I saw my date on the bench out front, I thought….”Nice! He is cuter than his profile pic.” I was a bit sad when our lunch date was ending, so when we made plans for a movie that evening, it was very cool! We ended up seeing quite a bit of each other in the days that followed and a sweet kiss after a walk through the park made me want to see even more of him. ❤️
We have been together for seven months now and took our first trip together last week. I can’t answer for him, but I know I really enjoyed having time away from responsibilities and time to just enjoy each other’s company. I think we complement each other very well. I love it when he holds my hand when we’re walking and when he calls me “hon” or “dear”. He is incredibly talented at fixing and building things. He is currently working on building a shed for me and I am in awe of how he knows exactly what to do without even looking at any plans. He has it clear in his head what it should look like and he just goes from there and creates it!
I tend to overthink and to look far into the future. Right now, though, I am telling my brain to trust my heart and to enjoy the present moment. ❤️ I don’t need to know exactly how the story turns out to make the very most of this wonderful new chapter! ❤️