Exactly a year ago today (3/30/2021) my divorce was finalized. It was a day for me to breathe a sigh of relief. After dealing with the ex-husband’s silent treatments, threats and offers to try again if I was willing to meet certain conditions, I was beyond ready to be done. His moods could shift just like the flip of a switch and I never knew which side of my ex-husband I might be dealing with.
After going through all that, I knew that I needed to do some work on myself before I entertained the thought of being with anyone again. I was broken and I knew I needed to heal and to learn to be ok with myself and to set boundries for any future relationships. At that time, one year seemed like a perfectly reasonable amount of time to give myself before embarking on any dating adventures.
I was still holding on to some slim hope that maybe my now ex-husband would decide that he missed me and that he might be willing to give us another chance. Maybe counseling could help, I thought. After all, the last time we saw each other in April, he said he would probably always love me and we kissed. I remember telling him that if he could figure out what was going on in his head and give us another chance, I didn’t plan to start dating until March 30, 2022.
I finished therapy in June and had my therapist’s blessing to try my hand at a date here and there. I activated accounts on Zoosk and Match.com Although I did go out on one date and a few activities as friends, I think the hope for a possible reconciliation was still there. Once I discovered that there had been another woman in the picture, I found it MUCH easier to let that hope die. I felt so stupid and so gullible, but at least I finally had an explanation for the erratic behavior.
Fast forward to August of last year. I had exchange students arriving in the middle of the month and decided that one last date before the schedule got crazy might be fun. I was a bit apprehensive as I walked through the Olive Garden parking lot, and when I saw my date on the bench out front, I thought….”Nice! He is cuter than his profile pic.” I was a bit sad when our lunch date was ending, so when we made plans for a movie that evening, it was very cool! We ended up seeing quite a bit of each other in the days that followed and a sweet kiss after a walk through the park made me want to see even more of him. ❤️
We have been together for seven months now and took our first trip together last week. I can’t answer for him, but I know I really enjoyed having time away from responsibilities and time to just enjoy each other’s company. I think we complement each other very well. I love it when he holds my hand when we’re walking and when he calls me “hon” or “dear”. He is incredibly talented at fixing and building things. He is currently working on building a shed for me and I am in awe of how he knows exactly what to do without even looking at any plans. He has it clear in his head what it should look like and he just goes from there and creates it!
I tend to overthink and to look far into the future. Right now, though, I am telling my brain to trust my heart and to enjoy the present moment. ❤️ I don’t need to know exactly how the story turns out to make the very most of this wonderful new chapter! ❤️
picturingpositive 
That’s a very nice story Beth and long may it continue.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and to leave such a nice comment, Paul! 😊 I hope you have a wonderful day! 😊
I love happy stories! As you know, I also went through a pretty nasty divorce a few years ago. I had a wonderful support system throughout that very trying time. One of those people and I really hit it off. We found that we shared a lot of the same interests and genuinely enjoyed each other’s company. Eventually we started dating, got married, and two kids later.. life is just wonderful! I am very happy that you have found some happiness and I wish you both the best in the future.
Thank you so much! 😊 I think going through such a painful experience really makes us appreciate the good people when we find them! ❤️ I am so glad you found your happy ending! Thank you so much for the very kind comment! 😊
I’m glad for your happiness. That means the world to me.
Thank you so much, Nora. ❤️ Thank you for being there to support me and help me get through the rough times. Love you!! ❤️
So happy for you Beth. Here’s to new beginnings. Relationships should be partnerships, not battles. Stay well. Allan
Thank you so much, Allan! I am happier than I’ve been in a long time 😊 I couldn’t agree more that relationships are partnerships. Not perfection, of course, but open to communication and compromise. It is a very welcome change. Thanks for your kind and always insightful comments! Have a wonderful day! 😊
What a sweet love story I have heard it before but it is still a great story about, lose, love and finding your self. ❤️
Thank you so much, Candy! ❤️ Sometimes going through the tough times, it’s hard to see how it could be better. I think too that it can be when we aren’t looking that we find just what we need. ❤️ Thank you so much for reading and for the sweet comment! I hope you have a wonderful day😊
setting dates sounded kinda mechanical – I pretty much think you’re ready when you’re ready. But I’m glad that it seems to be working out for you. When you talked about up-front boundaries, that seemed a smart thing to do. If only everybody went into things with their eyes open…
I think you are absolutely right about being ready when you’re ready. Sometimes the “planner” part of me wants timelines for everything. 😉 I am definitely a work in progress and am trying to be more flexible and to let my heart take the lead sometimes. Eyes open is a good thing for sure, especially in the beginning of a relationship. Thanks so much for taking the time to comment.
Good Luck!
What a lovely happy story. Maggie
Thank you so very much, Maggie! ❤️ Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. Have an awesome day! 😊
Beth, So sorry for what you had to go through, but very happy for finding that special man now. Also, enjoyed your trip pictures! Enjoy every day and continue to smell the roses!
Thank you so much!! 😊 I think the bad times make us appreciate the good, so even though I couldn’t see it at the time, what happened was ultimately a good thing. Thank you so much for reading and for taking the time to leave such a sweet comment❤️ Have a wonderful day! 😊
Beth I just have to tell you that I am very impressed and you are a strong wonderful and loving person I enjoy being your friend and wish you all the best in your future I’m so sorry that your marriage didn’t work out but whatever happens it’s meant to be love you and glad to be your friend
Awww, thank you so much, Tish! I do believe that things work out the way they are meant to and that every experience teaches us a lesson (whether we want to learn or not😉) I am very glad to have you as a friend and I am so grateful for your support and encouragement! ❤️ Wishing you a day filled with wonderful things!
Beth, I am so happy for you! Smiled as I read this. It sounds as if your head is in the right place, and not overthinking or second-guessing. So great to hear!💐💃🏽
Thank you so much, Natalie! 😊 I am definitely trying to live in the moment instead of far ahead as I am wont to do. 😉 I am loving following your adventures on your blog. The way you seize opportunities is truly inspiring! 😊❤️😊
I am truly happy for you! Enjoy the moment you have now and continue to love, love, love, love, love! 🥰🥰🥰
Thank you so much!! 🙂 I am enjoying every moment! ❤ 🙂 ❤
Beth,
I don’t really know you, but I know your dad and mom, and especially your grandma Betty.
I enjoyed reading your blog.
Suggestion, maybe you read it once a week. It’s easy to fall back.
Looking forward to your next one.
Thank you so much for reading, Lois! 😊 I haven’t been the most faithful at writing, mostly when inspiration strikes, which isn’t as often as I’d like. 😉 I think re-reading and reminding myself to keep moving forward is a great idea. ❤️
Beth, I am SO THRILLED for you! You are an inspiration to me in hopes that one day I may find someone special too after being married to a narcissist. Enjoy every precious moment with Ted! He’s a lucky man! xo
Thanks so much, Janie! ❤️😊❤️ I think there are still residual effects from my time with my ex, but I am trying to let go of the baggage and make the most of my time with Ted. 😊❤️😊Sending all my positive thoughts and best wishes that you find a special someone to restore your faith in relationships! ❤️🥰❤️
Thank you so much Beth! I love how you’ve gone beyond the past of your ex and moved forward with light and love in your heart! I am so inspired by your story, courage and strength of healing! Keep shining your love!! ❤️🥰❤️🤗
Happy for you, too!
Thank you so much! 🙂 I appreciate you taking the time to read and to leave a nice comment! Have a wonderful day! 🙂
You, too 🙂
Wishing you love and happiness, Beth.
Thank you so much! Wishing you the same, Rupali ❤ 🙂 ❤
I am very happy for you both. You deserve happiness.
Thank you so much, Kerry! ❤ Wishing you happiness as well!! ❤
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Love how you put it! “I don’t need to know exactly how the story turns out to make the very most of this wonderful new chapter!”
Thank you, Simone. 😊 I am hopeful that this one will be the last, but past history makes me a bit more cautious than in the past. But, I’ve decided that life is too short not to enjoy every moment. 😊 Thanks so much for reading and for the nice comment!
Yes, I can definitely relate to that. The heartbreak and loss we experience makes us way more cautious and leaves us feeling vulnerable.. I commend you for allowing yourself to find love and to live in the moment. 😊
Your post is beautifully written and a pleasure to read!
Thank you! You are so right about feeling vulnerable and being cautious. Only by taking the risk can we reap the rewards, though. 😊 Thank you so much for your incredibly sweet comment. ❤️