Sometimes things happen that overwhelm us and make us question our ability to keep on going. Making it through the rough patches, though, helps us to cherish and to be thankful when life brings little miracles and blessings our way.
Towards the end of 2020, I was dealing with the loss of my Mom in June, my youngest starting college and me moving into my family home. In November I found out my marriage was in essence over and there was nothing I could do to change that. I was completely blindsided and met with apathy and indifference from my “loving” husband. Being told that he had been unhappy for years despite the proof of the exact opposite in photos, notes, cards and gifts from our years together created a cognitive dissonance that was difficult to make sense of.
At that time, I started doing research trying to see if maybe there was some mental issue that went along with the physical maladies he suffered earlier in the year. Nothing made sense. The divorce went through and it was a few months after that that I “accidentally” found out about the other woman. Strangely, finding out that I had been cheated on as well as finding out about narcissistic personality disorder made it much easier to let go of things.
The experience caused me no small amount of heartache and no doubt some lingering trust issues. Going through that, however, made me stronger and made me evaluate what I want and deserve in a relationship.
It took me a few months and a bit of therapy to work through all of that and I was slow to dip my foot in the dating pool. 😉 I know myself and I knew that I wanted to be absolutely sure that I could trust the next person I gave my heart to. ❤️ I wanted someone who I could be myself with and who would accept me as I am and not require his “standards” to be met as a condition of receiving his love.
I have heard the phrase, “Not in my time, but in God’s time.” It wasn’t always easy to “Let go and let God”, but I did my best.
When I went on my first date with my honey, it was easy and relaxed and I wanted to see more of him. Still, I wasn’t ready to jump in right away. After a couple dates he told me that he was attracted to me and said that he would like to kiss me, but would wait until I was ready. He was a perfect gentleman and it wasn’t long until I was all in.
In a previous post, I talked about people who are givers and who naturally give of their time and talents when they see a need. It was such a blessing to find out that I was now with one of those givers. I was used to fending for myself, so having someone there to help with household emergencies or transportation for my girls was amazing.
This weekend as I was mowing the lawn and raking up the “lovely” 😉 apples that have blanketed my back yard, he tackled so many other projects for me.
When I finished mowing, I saw that he fixed the gate that had been broken by the sprinkler system installers last June. Being able to open and close it with ease rather than lifting and dragging it is wonderful! In addition, he assembled the table that now stands next to the hot tub so we can enjoy beverages while we are soaking our sore muscles away.💕 He then proceeded to the garage to install an organization system so the garage floor could be clutter free.
Finally, he installed organizers in the shed and made the inside look as amazing as the outside. It is perfectly organized and fits well with the shelves he previously assembled for me. It is clear that he loves me and wants to make my life better whenever and wherever he can. In return, I want to do the same for him. ❤️
As I was creating the little angel at the top of this post, I was thinking of how thankful I am to have such a thoughtful person to share life with. Life isn’t perfect. There are still plenty of challenges, but with the right person by your side, it is much easier to meet and overcome those challenges.
Thank you, God for bringing such a special person into my life. 💕
Love, ❤️ Beth
I am so glad that you found that special someone. Wishing you both many years of happiness together. Enjoy each other and the blessings that God has in store for you.
Thank you so much! 😊 I appreciate you taking the time to read and to leave such a thoughtful comment. Wishing you a wonderful day! 😊
You are such a sweet, giving person and deserve the best! I’m so happy that you have it! I love seeing you and your honey happy and in love!❤️
I would say the same about you, Missy! ❤️ You are such a ray of sunshine and spread positivity everywhere you go! Thanks so much for reading and for taking the time to leave such a sweet comment. 🥰
Happy years together.
Thank you so much, Anita. ❤️ I hope so. 🥰 Thanks for taking the time to read and to leave such a sweet comment. 💕
I can relate to the heartache of being cheated and the end of a marriage. In my case, I didn’t realize how vulnerable I was and got caught up in some stressful relationships before I learned to trust God’s timing and love myself. I’m thankful we each found good people to share our lives with when the time was right.
I’m sorry you had to go through that anguish. I think it does make us stronger for surviving it. Kudos to both of us for making it through the rain and finding our rainbow on the other side of it. 🌈 Thanks so much for taking the time to leave such an insightful comment. ❤️
I am happy for you, Anita. Stay blessed both of you.
Thank you so much. 😊❤️😊
1. Someone is very much still hung up on her ex
2. You’re still bitter and angry or you wouldn’t still be writing about him and your divorce
3. You are not as in love with your new boyfriend as you want people to think or you still wouldn’t be writing about your ex and your divorce
4. You’re truly not happy in your life at the moment, because if you were, you wouldn’t still be writing about your ex and your divorce.
Thanks for your analysis, “Caleb”. Yes, I probably still am bitter and angry at wasting all the years I did with my ex. When you spend that much time with someone, I don’t think it’s possible to flip a switch and never think of that person again. As much as I would like to be able to, I can’t. I guess time will tell if my new relationship will last. So far, so good.
Seems like your ex has moved on and you have not, and that eats you alive. You want us to believe you have but you have clearly not. Too bad your boyfriend doesn’t read these blogs… I wonder what he would think?
Think what you want, “Caleb”. My ex is an abusive covert narcissist who has a pattern of needing to have the shiny new phone, car, girlfriend. He was awful to his first wife who, I’m sure, counts her blessings every day that she isn’t with him any longer. Or hopefully she has just happily moved on, is living her best life and not even thinking of him at all. The nasty things he said to me still sometimes play in my mind. Every day that passes is one day closer to me exorcising him from my mind for good. The sooner the better.
Caleb has expressed the skeptical response I had when I first started following you.
I have had recent experiences similar to yours. My mom died this past January and my idiot ex filed for divorce when I was 2000 miles away, caring for Mom whom he purported to love and supposedly continued to still love me even as he was dating his next wife!
The alcoholic serial monogamist is now married to wife #4. This shift in responsibility for him has liberated me and allowed me to move and look forward. He is her problem now, and I hope this change has similarly liberated our daughter who is the only one in our family still on speaking terms with him.
Anyway, your response to Caleb shows that your picturing positive is not totally done looking forward through only rose-colored glasses and that you have not fully recovered from how your idiot ex wronged you and probably made you feel less than, as mine did. This has provided me with additional comfort and also some hope for which I think you and other sisters I have found through blogging.
I am so very sorry about the loss of your Mom and the torment you also went through from your ex. To have someone who is supposed to love you the most treat you the worst is something that takes a long time to recover from. I try to see the positive, but I definitely have days that challenge me. Thank you so much for your very thoughtful response. I wish you the very best. ❤️
Wow that was a lot to go through but your perseverance and faith is commendable and your blessings immense. So awesome!!! 💗
Thank you so much, Cindy. ❤️ I truly appreciate your kind words. 😊❤️😊
You’re so welcome Beth❣️