Alone is not the worst thing to be

Posted on August 4, 2021 by Beth F.

One of my little drawing/zentangles. I enjoy drawing and then finding a quote that speaks to me at that moment.

I think this quote from Robin Williams is so accurate. I truly used to think that being alone was the worst thing that could happen to me. I’m an introvert, so huge crowds drain me, but I do crave connections. I still would love to be able to have someone with me, someone to be able to say, Welcome Home, honey and a for-sure movie or dinner date. I still miss snuggling and look forward to the day when I have someone to kiss and to hold hands with.

Even now, I hear the voice in my head from the one who made me feel more alone when I was married than I have since. That voice tells me I don’t deserve someone. I’m not good enough. I have too many flaws. 😦

I am one that gives chance after chance and tries to always see the good in people. I am definitely guilty of trying to “fix” situations that are not fixable and to make excuses for inexcusable behavior.

One of the great exercises that my therapist gave me is to pretend that I am talking to a friend who is in the exact same situation. What advice would I give her? Hypothetically, If my friend were to call me and ask me if she should stay in contact with a person who cheated on her and broke her heart, I would say an emphatic NO, not just NO, but HELL NO! And, while it is hard to shut and lock that door, it is very necessary for peace of mind and mental health.

Despite what has happened, I still feel like there will be a special someone for me. When the time is right, he will “come out of nowhere and into my life” as Michael Bublé so eloquently sings. Any fans of the movie “Practical Magic” will remember when Sandra Bullock’s character, Sally, came up with a spell to call true love to her. She created someone so good he couldn’t possibly exist. While that didn’t ultimately end up the best for her, I don’t wish to call an “impossible” person to me. I was thinking of it and I did write down last night the attributes that my special someone will have. Here is my “perfect person”:

Handsome (just enough for me…not drop dead gorgeous….but sometimes love makes the ordinary extraordinary)
Kind
Faithful
Loving and affectionate
Encourages me to be a better person, but accepts when I don’t quite make it
Can (playfully) tease me
Accepts my faith
Gets along with my kids (as I will with his kids if he has them)
Loves (or at least tolerates 😉 )my puppy Romeo

In the meantime, while I’m waiting for the time to be right, I’ll be single, happy and hopeful 🙂 I found a little sign that I have on my desk right now. It says, “I’m not single. I have a dog”. Works for me!

Posted in feelings, happiness, love, Love Yourself, patience, relationships | Tagged alone, drawing, hopeful, love, perfect person, robin williams, single, special someone | 14 Comments

Love Me, Love My Music (or at least my LOVE of music)

Posted on July 30, 2021 by Beth F.

If you want to get to know me better, the music I love says a lot ❤

They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. That may or may not be true. I’m not sure what the way to every woman’s heart is, but for me, talk to me about music! In the last few days, I have had fun going back in time and reminiscing about my favorite high school jams as well as songs that have and always will hold a special place in my heart.

If you appreciate “Affirmation” by Savage Garden, you are my kind of person!! https://open.spotify.com/track/6lWY4ji9T0tpFU2xbnRC1p?si=7a05185d03914b81

I remember back in high school when I was lucky enough to have a cassette player in my Pinto (hey, don’t judge me….it was a cool car at the time). I literally wore out the cassette for the Pretty in Pink soundtrack. I also had tapes on which I recorded songs from the radio. Sure there might have been a bit of background noise, but to be able to listen to my favorite songs while on the go was SO worth dealing with the minor annoyance of a parent or sibling’s voice in the background!

Once iPods came out, I was in heaven! Being able to have a digital playlist of music was AMAZING! Still, dealing with iTunes was challenging at best. Finding Spotify was a complete game changer for me. I don’t think a day goes by that I don’t listen to one of my playlists on the Spotify app. With Alexa (yes, I’m a total tech geek), it is even simpler. “Alexa, play Current Favorites on Spotify.” is a common command from me.

Even nicer is the option to listen to a specific song even when it isn’t in my playlist. Last night, I was travelling down memory lane and asked Alexa to play “Magic” and “Just What I Needed” by the Cars, and then “Jessie’s Girl” and “Human Touch” by Rick Springfield. While chatting with another awesome 80s fan recently, I found myself saying, “Oh yeah! And what about…?” We dredged up a few great ones which I then added to my “Current Favorites”. I love that it is easy to edit it, so if I have had enough of a song, it can be easily removed from my playlist and replaced by the latest new (or old) tune to be stuck in my head!

Anyone else have music always playing in the background? What is on YOUR current favorites list? I’m always happy to find (or re-find) great tunes!

Posted in happiness, love, Music | Tagged Affirmation, Love Me Love My Music, Music, playlist, Spotify | 21 Comments

Take Me Away…..

Posted on July 27, 2021 by Beth F.

Ever feel like just getting away from it all? I feel like that at the moment! I am pleased with this practice painting, though! My first palm trees had leaves that all blurred together. I got a little better with this rendition.

Art is the only way to run away without leaving home.
Twyla Tharp

Posted in watercolor practice | Tagged beach, palm trees, Twyla Tharp, watercolor practice | 21 Comments

Vision

Posted on July 25, 2021 by Beth F.

My latest watercolor practice. Abstract poppies.

The vision must be followed by the venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps – we must step up the stairs.
Vance Havner

I found this quote and it spoke to me. My vision for my watercolor painting is to get more comfortable with mixing the colors and to make progress with layering the colors starting with the lightest wash. Every time I practice is a step towards making that vision come true!

My vision for my love life is not quite as straightforward. 😄. My vision is to have a special someone who will be in my life (and in my photos with me. ❤). I believe that patience is a step on that path. Also, being open to new experiences may one day bring me in contact with someone who also has a vision of a life partner who is loving, faithful and just quirky enough to match with my quirky self 🤪

God will bring the right person into your life at the right time. Always believe that! If they are not there, God isn’t finished yet.
Shannon L. Alder

Posted in vision, watercolor practice | Tagged accomplishment, poppies, Shannon L. Alder, vision, watercolor | 14 Comments

Bloom (Despite) Where You’re Planted!

Posted on July 23, 2021 by Beth F.

Volunteer Hollyhocks growing between the concrete and the patio pavers. They are thriving despite their location!

In spite of discouragement and adversity, those who are happiest seem to have a way of learning from difficult times, becoming stronger, wiser and happier as a result.
Joseph B. Wirthlin

*Yesterday afternoon at the airport, I smiled in anticipation of the trip to Oregon that was not going to happen.*

Yesterday a huge storm cell in Denver, Colorado put a kabash to the Oregon trip that my son and I were eagerly anticipating. We made it onto the plane and then heard message after message about a storm that was limiting access to the Denver airport. For a time the airport was apparently shut down completely. Eventually we de-planed after our trip to the tarmac and back. Our flight was postponed several times and finally cancelled.

It was quite a disappointment, but I still believe that everything happens for a reason. I spent this morning walking on the treadmill instead of walking on a trail towards a beautiful waterfall or walking around the yard at my aunt and uncle’s home admiring all the artistic touches my aunt has added. Despite being a bit down about the trip, I do have so many things to be thankful for.

I found out the flight information for my two exchange students this morning, so that was a huge spirit booster. It makes things more official and increases the ever growing anticipation and excitement of their arrival! One arrives on August 17th and the other on August 20th. I know those will both be joyful days and ones that will more than make up for the one my son and I just spent in the airport.

I plan to take the bad situation and use it as fertilizer to give me more appreciation for the wonderful things in my life. I found a great item on Etsy from PlantablesAndPaper that made me smile. Click on the link if you want a unique gift for someone going through a rough patch! When life gives you sh*t, plant a garden and grow from it! My volunteer hollyhock growing from the pavement is an excellent example! ❤

Posted in Acceptance, adversity, thankfulness | Tagged adversity, be grateful anyway, bummer, cancellation, cancelled trip, flight delay, hollyhock, Joseph B. Wirthlin, PlantablesAndPaper Etsy Shop | 8 Comments

Choose Your People

Posted on July 21, 2021 by Beth F.

I used to think life could be shared with anyone, but now I know choosing the right people is pretty important.
Bob Goff in “Love Does”

One of my Mom’s many Precious Moments figurines. I think this little sweetie would be safe to catch a ride with. 😊

I am about halfway through the latest audio book by Bob Goff, “Love Does”. While I have enjoyed the entire book so far, I found myself rewinding and listening to Chapter 18 again. While in college, Goff would hitchhike across the country. He says the cardinal rule is, “Don’t tell the person where you are going, instead ask where they are going.” This gives the hitchhiker time to size up the driver to determine if he or she seems safe and sane.

While I won’t give away his story of a time that he didn’t follow the rule, suffice to say it was NOT a good experience. Turns out he had hitched a ride with Satan. Yikes!

Goff tells us that even though he needed a ride to get somewhere, he still had a lot of power over who he would hitch a ride with. He compares this to our lives. We choose who we take this journey with.

Along the way, we become like the people we hang around. According to Goff, “We become connected together and influenced more than we think.”

This influence can be positive or negative. As in Goff’s experience, it is possible to choose the wrong companion. To rectify this, he gives the following advice:

If there is a dude who isn’t great, and I mean purely evil, it’s important to get him out of your mind as fast as possible. We have the power to choose who we do life with. If you make a bad pick, you need to do whatever it takes to get out of the car.
Bob Goff, “Love Does”

Sometimes it is our nature to give others too many chances. While the bad ones DO need friends, according to Goff, it shouldn’t be you.

If we feel sad about this, Goff tells us that even Jesus did the same. Jesus didn’t give Satan any grace. He speaks the truth to him and tells him to go away. “If Satan had come back saying he was sorry, that would be different, but of course he doesn’t and he won’t. ” says Goff.

Thankfully, most of us won’t be unlucky enough to hitch a ride with Satan, but Goff gives some final words of wisdom to help us to choose the people to do life with.

He says, “Some people learn to be altruistic and caring and some people don’t. You won’t always know right away in the makeup of the people you meet. What I’ve decided is a pretty good idea is to just ask people where they’re going before you get in with them. If they aren’t headed where you want to end up, just wait in the ice plant by the highway a little while longer.”

Great advice Mr. Goff! It makes me think of the anonymous quote, “Stay close to people who make you feel like sunshine.” I wish you all more people like that in your lives!

Posted in friendship, relationships | Tagged Bob Goff, choosing companions, hitchhiking, Love Does | 8 Comments

Patience Pays Off!

Posted on July 19, 2021 by Beth F.

You cannot expect miracles to happen overnight. Be patient, be loving, and little by little the change you seek will come.
Leon Brown

My eyeliner lilies that I planted a little over two months ago finally rewarded me with blooms!

I was absolutely delighted this morning when I went outside to find that my eyeliner lilies were finally blooming! I have been waiting for months, watching them grow tall and strong, seeing the buds develop and come oh so close to blooming. Every day I would check them to no avail. Finally today my patience paid off and I was able to enjoy the gorgeous blooms.

Posted in Nature, patience, persevere | Tagged blooming, eyeliner lilies, gardening, patience, persistence, wait for it | 13 Comments

Friendship

Posted on July 14, 2021 by Beth F.

My little gnome in the apple tree has a friend now! This makes me smile!

A good friend is like a four-leaf clover; hard to find and lucky to have.
Irish Proverb

Posted in friendship, gardening | Tagged friendship, garden gnome, garden ideas, Irish proverb, tree decorations | 7 Comments

There is a time for everything

Posted on July 11, 2021 by Beth F.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8King James Version

3 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

²A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

³A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

⁴A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

⁵A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

⁶A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

⁷A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

⁸A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

I started thinking about this passage when reading an excellent blog post on Authentically 50 that referenced a song from the 80s classic “Footloose”. I can still remember today how I felt way back in high school watching while Ren convinced Ariel’s dad, Reverend Moore, to allow the students to have their prom. By quoting Ecclesiastes, he softened the reverend’s heart and the kids were able to dance their socks off. I think most of the people in the theater were in love with Kevin Bacon after that speech! 😍

While ruminating on these words from scripture which Ren quoted so eloquently, I feel more confident in my own future. There is a season for everything. Life is cyclical. I may have gone through loss and heartbreak this past year, but to me that means there will be new beginnings and there will be a time for me to dance as well!

These plants may be at the end of their life, but where some blooms drop and some leaves wilt, new growth and new buds will appear in time.

This afternoon I noticed that one of the clumps of daylilies that I recently transplanted had a shoot poking up with some buds on it. I was honestly thinking I might have to dispose of the plants because they were looking so sad and wilted. It was a wonderful surprise to see the sign of new life and a reminder that there IS a time for everything ❤

Posted in Acceptance | Tagged a time for everything, Ecclesiastes, gardening, lessons from Footlose, to everything there is a season | 7 Comments

Love Letter to My Gardens (or Why Gardening is Better Than Dating)

Posted on July 7, 2021 by Beth F.

After a very brief foray into the world of online dating, I have decided that I will stick to my flower and vegetable gardens.

My cucumber plants are hard at work making my future salad toppings

I’m sure there are some lovely gentlemen out there in the land of match.com and zoosk, but apparently those gems are not interested in me. I have gotten a lot of “looks”, but I don’t really understand how that constitutes dating. I have also received some smiley faces and hearts, but once again, what do I do with these?

In response, I have said “Hi! Hope your day is going well.” and receive….wait for it…..crickets….. Maybe they have too many irons in the fire, maybe they’re just not into me or maybe they aren’t paying members so can’t respond. I completely understand not wanting to pay for the site. I am a “paying member” until December because I found a 50% off code. (There is almost always a code if there is a space for one!😄)

The ones that are VERY eager to meet me have names that I imagine are not their given names. Love4U, Likes2Snuggle and BetterNMost are some of my choices. Apparently I am too picky because the apps continue to disregard my age and distance perimeters. Tonight a match popped up that was cute, “liked* me, and even had a real name, so I “liked” him only to discover that he is from Las Vegas. Hmmm, even with Allegiant Airlines, that is a bit more of a commute than I want 😄

While watering my gardens tonight, I found this sweet little strawberry in the shape of a heart. It was almost as if it was saying to me, “It’s okay, Beth, WE still love you.”

My dear little strawberry, cucumbers, tomatoes and flowers, I love you too! ❤ With you I know exactly where I stand. As long as I give you some attention and water you each day, you reward me with beautiful blooms or yummy treats. If I see you wilting a bit, I know you need my attention. We don’t need emojis to communicate and you are all right here in my yard so no long distance travel is required. I will be here for you until the season ends and we part for a while and are reunited when once again spring returns.

Yours truly, Beth ❤

Posted in Just Me | Tagged elephant ear, foxglove, gardening, gardening instead of dating, heart, love, online dating, strawberry, violas | 22 Comments

Blessed Night

Posted on July 3, 2021 by Beth F.

My latest watercolor creation, A Galaxy Sky

If there were no night, we would not appreciate the day, nor could we see the stars and the vastness of the heavens. We must partake of the bitter with the sweet. There is a divine purpose in the adversities we encounter every day. They prepare, they purge, they purify, and thus they bless.
James E. Faust

Posted in Just Me | Tagged adversity, James E. Faust, sky, stars, watercolor | 8 Comments

Love Them Anyway

Posted on July 2, 2021 by Beth F.

People are unrealistic, illogical and self-centered. Love them anyway.
Mother Teresa

Just like this little poppy, I am slow to grow and bloom. If I allow myself patience and tolerance and offer the same to those around me, I will hopefully bloom as lovely as this one day ❤

I recently finished listening to the audiobook Everybody, Always by Bob Goff. I sincerely enjoyed it and can’t wait to hear his latest, Love Does when it is available to borrow from my library.

While I enjoyed the entire audiobook, Chapter 17 really resonated with me. It is titled, “My Bucket” and in this chapter, Goff asks the question, “How is your life working for the people around you?” For a time, he carried around an actual bucket to remind him of the areas in his life that need work. He said his bucket needs to be filled with patience and recalls a time when he chose the wrong line at the car rental return and needed to dip into his bucket of patience to avoid giving the pokey employee a dressing down. Using his bucket allowed him to respond kindly to the attendant. He was even able to throw in a compliment for good measure about how happy he was with his visit as well as his rental car experience. This was no small feat considering he had missed his flight due to the delay!

As he was walking away from the rental car return, he heard a summons from the attendant who was moving toward him with a much speedier gait. Upon catching up to Goff, the young man tapped him on the shoulder and said, “I just wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed your sermon this morning.” The chances of this same young man being at the service earlier that day and working the exact lane Goff chose is astronomical. By acting as Jesus would have, though, Goff solidifed the message of love that he had conveyed that morning as a guest speaker. He queried that had he not dipped into his bucket of patience, the message this young man would have taken away might have been much different than the positive one that he received that morning and then had corroborated by Goff’s actions.

People will figure out what we really believe by what we actually do.
Bob Goff in Everybody, Always

Goff states that we need to find ways to engage differently with the people around us and this means all the people around us, not just those that we like or relate to. How we treat the rental car return guy, the grocery bagger, even the person who gets on our last nerve lets people know how we really are with Jesus. Goff says, “Jesus never had a problem with people who knew their shortcomings. He didn’t tolerate people who faked it.”

Goff’s daughter is an elementary teacher and her grading system is not the standard one. For report card grades, she uses the following system:

M = Mastered
G = Grade Level
N = Not Yet

Goff believes that if we use this sytem in our lives, we may have more forgiveness for ourselves and more tolerance for others. We haven’t achieved mastery, but having the intention that we are aiming for that and just aren’t there quite yet can help us to keep striving. Jesus is the only one who has mastered life, but he has infinite patience with the rest of us who keep plodding on, trying to improve ourselves and the world around us.

One statement that I really liked is the following, “Stop laying sod where he [Jesus] planted seed. He is more interested in making us grow than in having us look finished.” I think that statement speaks to me because I can be too much of a perfectionist and like to have everything all tied up in a neat little bow. I need to remember that I am a work in process and that it is fine to admit that I don’t have life all figured out.

I will end with another wonderful quote from Mother Teresa. She was a master of unconditional love for the very least among us. I will strive to be like her and like Jesus and am quite sure I will not succeed, but I will keep trying!