What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly.Richard Bach
Today was a milestone day for me. It marks my last day of therapy. When I first started last February, I was a much more broken person than I am today. Today I feel so much stronger and worthy of taking on and tackling whatever may come!
I thanked my therapist for helping me to get back to the confident, secure person I was years ago. While I certainly would not have chosen my circumstances, I have found that because of them and because of the work I have done in sitting with the emotions and letting myself feel them, grieve what might have been and accept the future that is far from what I pictured, I have gained strength.
Like the caterpillar, at first I thought my life was essentially over. How would I get through life without “my person”? All versions of my future included him. How could I make him want me again? Why wouldn’t he talk to me? How could I “fix” this? With the help of my brilliant, patient counselor, I learned that it wasn’t fixable and I had to let go of that hope. I needed to find my soul, the core part of me that is me and has been from the time I was formed and will be me beyond my death. She soon gleaned from me that I am a “fixer” and a “helper” and I like to make people happy. All these are wonderful things, but she said I have to extend the same kindness to myself.
I have learned that if I don’t take care of myself, including emotionally, I can’t be there for others. In the last few months, I have increased confidence and appreciation for myself. I have many people in my life that accept me even with my limitations and failings and for that I am truly grateful.
I am like the little caterpillar that thought her world was over and soon discovered she was a butterfly. God has a plan for me and I am working my way out of the chrysalis stage and getting ready to spread my wings and fly into the next phase of my life.