What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly.
Richard Bach
Today was a milestone day for me. It marks my last day of therapy. When I first started last February, I was a much more broken person than I am today. Today I feel so much stronger and worthy of taking on and tackling whatever may come!
I thanked my therapist for helping me to get back to the confident, secure person I was years ago. While I certainly would not have chosen my circumstances, I have found that because of them and because of the work I have done in sitting with the emotions and letting myself feel them, grieve what might have been and accept the future that is far from what I pictured, I have gained strength.
Like the caterpillar, at first I thought my life was essentially over. How would I get through life without “my person”? All versions of my future included him. How could I make him want me again? Why wouldn’t he talk to me? How could I “fix” this? With the help of my brilliant, patient counselor, I learned that it wasn’t fixable and I had to let go of that hope. I needed to find my soul, the core part of me that is me and has been from the time I was formed and will be me beyond my death. She soon gleaned from me that I am a “fixer” and a “helper” and I like to make people happy. All these are wonderful things, but she said I have to extend the same kindness to myself.
I have learned that if I don’t take care of myself, including emotionally, I can’t be there for others. In the last few months, I have increased confidence and appreciation for myself. I have many people in my life that accept me even with my limitations and failings and for that I am truly grateful.
I am like the little caterpillar that thought her world was over and soon discovered she was a butterfly. God has a plan for me and I am working my way out of the chrysalis stage and getting ready to spread my wings and fly into the next phase of my life.
picturingpositive 
❤️❤️❤️ We both have had a very tough year & are going through a lot of the same things. …Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings! It is nice to know that I am not alone & that with some work, patients, and time we can feel whole again, happy, and still have a wonderful life even though it is different than we imagined for ourselves ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much for reading and for the lovely comment Stephany❤❤❤ We are living proof that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger❤❤❤. It doesn’t get better overnight and sometimes it is hard to let go of the hurt, but we both have so much to give and so much to offer. We just need to remember that it is okay to take care of ourselves too. 🥰❤🥰
Congratulations, butterfly. All the best Beth. Allan
Thank you so much, Allan! All the best to you as well! 😊
Thank you for writing about your thoughts and feelings on your journey through therapy. It takes courage to share so freely.
Thank you so much for reading, Laura and for the very nice comment. There was a time when I would have hesitated sharing. Too often we think that others will judge us or think less of us if we admit we need help. I hope to help in at least a small way to get rid of that stigma and to help others see that it is okay to be vulnerable and to allow others to help us 😊
And God has made you a beautiful butterfly. 😊
Awww, thank you so much, Irene ❤ 🙂 ❤
Is this a natural talent or did you go to art school? It’s beautiful.
Thank you so much Tamara! I took a 4 week watercolor class and learned some basics, but I have since been watching tutorials on YouTube. 🙂 Watercolor painting can be quite the challenge, but when it sometimes does what I want it to it is very rewarding. 😊 Thank you so much for reading and for the very sweet comment! 🙂
Maybe I will try… 🎨
I want to paint but don’t know how.
There are some awesome tutorials on YouTube! Just make sure you get 140lb watercolor paper. The more expensive paints retain their color better, but for starting and practicing, just an inexpensive set works great! Give it a shot and just laugh it off when the paint does what it wants to do. 😄
I can’t wait to try this; thank you!
The trick is not to get discouraged if it doesn’t look like the sample! I find that even if I am super disappointed when mine doesn’t look like the ideal, I let it sit overnight and find that it looks much better after some time away from it 😄
If I don’t forget, I would like to show you my painting after I finish it. I haven’t started it yet. I will plan to do so when I get back from my trip (not a “mental trip”, but an airplane trip … zoom, zoom.. in the real sky). 😘
I would love to see it!! 😊 Have an awesome trip!! 😊
Sorry for the long delay in responding. Just saw this now. I found community education classes, but if you can’t find any, there are some wonderful tutorials on YouTube. I just search for “Beginning watercolor tutorials” 🙂 Best of luck to you! 😊
Congratulations to you Beth! And wow – I love your artwork! It’s beautiful just like you! Keep up the great work!! So happy for you!!!💗
Thank you so much Janie! I’m so grateful to have found you in our little blog universe 😊
Me too Beth! I am grateful for our connection! 🙂
Congratulations on discovering, caring for, and spreading your wings!💫💜
Thank you so much for visiting and for the very kind comment! 😊
Your thoughts are beautifully reflected in this simple, but telling, painting!
Thank you for reading and for the nice comment, Mary! 🙂 My watercolor creations are a work in process, not unlike me 😉
I love your art, and I love your words. You have reclaimed yourself! Bravo!
That is just the sweetest comment, Mary Elyn❤ Thank you so much for visiting and for your kind comment😊❤😊