One year ago today, I could not have foreseen the events that would unfold. Exactly a year ago today, I tested positive for Covid, was dealing with mind games and threats from my narcissist ex and was feeling defeated, dejected and so alone. A month later, with the help of a wonderful therapist, I was able to begin to see what a toxic relationship I had been in and that being alone was so much better than that. I found the core of who I am and the confidence to make it on my own if I needed to.
The months that followed found me doing a lot of work in the new/old house and in the yard. Weekly therapy sessions were incredibly helpful. When I commit to something, I give it my all and therapy was no different. I journaled my little heart out and was upfront and honest. I came to realize that though I have my faults, like everyone, I did not deserve to be treated the way I had been.
I regained the self-confidence that had been worn down in the course of that relationship. I was comfortable in my own skin again and was given the green light from my therapist to spread my wings and to get back to living again. ❤
The thought of being in another relationship was scary, and I set my goal far into the future. I decided that I would start dating again when my divorce had been final for a year….March 30, 2022. Well, you know what they say about best laid plans. 😉💕😉
Along the way, I found joy in my friends and family, in my yard. and in my drawing and newly obtained skill of watercolor painting. Finding happiness in my own pursuits is what I believe allowed me to be open to the relationship that I found and am building with my new sweetheart.
Gone is the anxiety that plagued me in my previous relationship. I no longer have to feel like I am walking on eggshells and to feel like I will never be good enough. With my new beau, I am relaxed and comfortable. The thought of seeing him makes me happy, not anxious, and I never feel like he will judge me and find me lacking. He is incredibly thoughtful and kind.
I think the purpose of this post is to give hope to anyone out there feeling hopeless and alone. There is light at the end of the tunnel. A year ago, I felt mired in sadness and hopelessness. Today I feel hopeful and happy. I am excited to see what the future brings. I did the work to be happy with myself and along the way I found a special someone 💕
What a difference a year makes! ❤ I am wishing all of you joy and happiness in the year ahead of us. 💕😊💕.
Love, Beth ❤
picturingpositive 
A year is but a step away and yet a lifetime ago. So many people never take that first step. Glad all is well Beth. Allan
Thank you Allan! 😊 I always appreciate your kind, insightful comments! Hoping all is well with you too. 😊
“What a difference a year makes” – Absolutely! I’m so happy for you, Beth. You deserve a partner that treats you well and makes you happy and it sounds like you’ve found that partne. And your watercolor paintings are beautiful and I love the messages in them. I so agree with the part of becoming happy with yourself and in taking up your own pursuits before you can meet someone special and be happy with them too. I’m so proud of how far you’ve come and I wish you more blessings and happiness in the future! 💖💐🕊
Oh Cherie, you are so kind! ❤ I am always inspired by your posts. I am certainly much happier than I was and I have learned to appreciate simple kindnesses so much more❤ Thank you so much for taking the time to read and for the very sweet comment! Blessings and happiness to you as well! ❤😊❤
It’s my pleasure, Beth! ❤
Oops! Pardon the typo! 😁😁😁
Good for you. I’m so happy that you are happy. It looks like you have discovered how to manipulate watercolor by blowing through a straw! Sweet pictures.
Thank you Laura Kate! 😊 Yes, I am thankful for those talented people that share tips on YouTube. 😉 I watched a tutorial with some glorious creations made with that technique, and I couldn’t wait to give it a try. Hers was much more controlled, but I’ll get there eventually. 😉 Thanks for the very kind comment! ❤
I’m so glad everything has worked out for you Beth! Life is certainly challenging but like you said, there’s always the light at the end of tunnel that we need to keep our eyes on. Art is such good therapy, love your paintings 💖😍💖
Thank you so much, Maria! 😊 Art is definitely amazing therapy. Easy to get lost in the latest creation. 😊 I truly love all your art.💕 So uplifting and inspiring. ❤😊❤
Beth, I accidentally changed my WordPress URL which deactivated my whole former URL. My new address is: https://bbycgnwriting.wordpress.com/
Got it!! Thank you! Hope you didn’t lose anything in the process!! 😊
No, it just threw my Pinterest & Facebook links off. But my blog is still intact. Thank God! 😊
A message of hope for all. There is always light at the end of every dark tunnel. Have a great day Beth.
Thank you so much, Goff! One of my favorite phrases is “This too shall pass.” It reminds me to appreciate the good times and to remember that the bad days won’t last forever. 😊 Thank you for the kind comment. I wish you a wonderful day!
Thanks Beth. Stay Positive. Stay Safe. Stay Smiling.
What a difference a year makes indeed Beth! SO glad you’re healthy and healed from Covid and from the toxic ex…and SOOOO HAPPY for you and your new beau! Keep inspiring us all…you are amazing and I’m so grateful we’re friends! Have a happy LOVE-filled year ahead!! ❤️ You deserve it all!!
You are just the sweetest, Janie ❤ Thank you so much! I am very grateful to have you as a friend!! 🙂 I hope the year ahead is filled with wonderful things for you too. You definitely deserve only the best ❤
Thank you! As do you Beth! 💕
Congratulations on getting your life back, only so much better this time! And so wonderful you’ve found someone to share life with. God bless you with the happily ever after you deserve🙌🏻💖
Thank you so very much, Kay ❤ It sometimes seemed like it would never be good again, but I think I have some amazing guardian angels and some wonderful family and friends. ❤ Thank you so much for the sweet comment. I wish you many blessings as well! 😊❤😊
You sure bounced back fast, at least in comparison to me and several others I know.
At first I thought the way you wrote about your new relationship was just pie in the sky and I was waiting for you to take a fall. Yes that’s how skeptical and negative I became as I was struggling to gain the same kind of separation and renewed self-confidence coming out of my relationship with an alcoholic. I am especially glad then that you have shared all the work you put in to get through your separation from a narcissist which I know is also not an easy thing and can also see left you with some of the same issues I am now dealing with.
Anyway, keep smiling and trucking and doing and just being happy. I promise I’ll try not to be too jealous!
Oh, for sure it wasn’t an easy process. I still struggle with the voice of my ex in my head and feel l am not good enough to be in a relationship and that it will all go poof. I still have to do my journaling and to evaluate my thoughts to determine if they are accurate or remnants of being with my ex narcissist. 😬 I definitely struggle, but am trying my best to appreciate what I have and honestly to appreciate the fact that I am OUT of my previous relationship, no matter how badly I wished it wasn’t over. I wish you all the best moving on from your past. I think it is something that can only be understood by someone who has lived through it. All we can do is keep living ourselves and telling ourselves that no matter what the ex narc says, we deserve happiness and love. 😊❤😊 Hoping you find all of that!! ❤