One year ago today, I could not have foreseen the events that would unfold. Exactly a year ago today, I tested positive for Covid, was dealing with mind games and threats from my narcissist ex and was feeling defeated, dejected and so alone. A month later, with the help of a wonderful therapist, I was able to begin to see what a toxic relationship I had been in and that being alone was so much better than that. I found the core of who I am and the confidence to make it on my own if I needed to.
The months that followed found me doing a lot of work in the new/old house and in the yard. Weekly therapy sessions were incredibly helpful. When I commit to something, I give it my all and therapy was no different. I journaled my little heart out and was upfront and honest. I came to realize that though I have my faults, like everyone, I did not deserve to be treated the way I had been.
I regained the self-confidence that had been worn down in the course of that relationship. I was comfortable in my own skin again and was given the green light from my therapist to spread my wings and to get back to living again. ❤
The thought of being in another relationship was scary, and I set my goal far into the future. I decided that I would start dating again when my divorce had been final for a year….March 30, 2022. Well, you know what they say about best laid plans. 😉💕😉
Along the way, I found joy in my friends and family, in my yard. and in my drawing and newly obtained skill of watercolor painting. Finding happiness in my own pursuits is what I believe allowed me to be open to the relationship that I found and am building with my new sweetheart.
Gone is the anxiety that plagued me in my previous relationship. I no longer have to feel like I am walking on eggshells and to feel like I will never be good enough. With my new beau, I am relaxed and comfortable. The thought of seeing him makes me happy, not anxious, and I never feel like he will judge me and find me lacking. He is incredibly thoughtful and kind.
I think the purpose of this post is to give hope to anyone out there feeling hopeless and alone. There is light at the end of the tunnel. A year ago, I felt mired in sadness and hopelessness. Today I feel hopeful and happy. I am excited to see what the future brings. I did the work to be happy with myself and along the way I found a special someone 💕
What a difference a year makes! ❤ I am wishing all of you joy and happiness in the year ahead of us. 💕😊💕.
Love, Beth ❤